


All That You Are Is All I'll Ever Need

by Astro324



Series: Can you stay? Polyamory LafLams- Modern AU [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe- Modern Setting - Freeform, Anal Sex, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Dom/sub, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, M/M, Multi, Orgasm Denial, Polyamory, Rimming, Teasing, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-11-30 17:38:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 35,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11468415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astro324/pseuds/Astro324
Summary: When John has to go away for two weeks to South Carolina, Alex and Lafayette have to figure out their own way around.I'm terrible at summaries, so terribly sorry!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am hoping this will be a multiple chapter and multiple part story. Based on reactions and comments I will decide wether to continue further or abaondon it all together. This is my first attempt at a full story and I hope all goes well and that people want to read more! This is also my first time writing LafLams so wish me luck!

John sat across the dinner table from Lafayette and Alex, staring them down nervously. He hated this, hated knowing how they will react, knowing he will be the cause. It shouldn't be this big of a deal, it shouldn't break John's heart to think about. 

Alex jiggled his leg almost violently making the chair creek loudly. Lafayette pulled his hand up to his lips and kissed softly, as if to calm him down. Alex released some tension from his body and his leg slowed down some, the room falling into an uncomfortable silence. Alex blew stray strands of his hair from his face as John toyed with his hands nervously. No one wanting to be the one to break the silence, they said nothing. Eventually Lafayette noticed Alex cracking and decided it would be best to start this obviously tense conversation off nicely. 

"What is it, mon coeur? You have Alex worked up and you are worrying me. What is wrong?" Lafayette tilted his head to the side, allowing his curls to brush against his shoulder. Damn, he's so beautiful. John felt as if he could stare at him for all eternity and never grow tired of it. The soft look in his eyes at the right time, his gentle hand and the way it felt while laying on top of John's comfortingly. 

"Well, the thing is that I have... I just kinda... I-" Alex blew out a frustrated puff of air and ran his fingers through his hair starkly. John shrunk back visibly, which Lafayette took notice of immediately. He soothed his hand down John's arm and the other down Alex's. Alex jerked away and stood up, disregarding the look of hurt and shock on Lafayette's face. He was way too keyed up to worry about any of that now. 

"John can you just fucking tell us? You're making a big deal out of whatever this is and my nerves can not take another god damn second of waiting for you to finally just spit it out!" John placed his face in his hands and groaned. He looked up at Lafayette as if he were pleading for help to contain their wound up lover. Lafayette turned his attention to Alex and pulled on his hand, gesturing to his now empty seat. 

"Alexander, please..." Alex jerked at the use of his full name, and turned his fiery gaze to Lafayette. The look in Lafayette's eyes caused a shift in Alex, and he tentatively took his seat again at their dinner table. John takes a hand through his curls and quickly decided it would be easiest to just rip this band-aid off as fast as he could. 

"Father has requested I come home for at least two weeks. There are personal family affairs he cannot tell me of over the phone apparently. Neither of you may come because he doesn't know of my sexual orientation, and I do not want to put either of you through the wrath of Henry Laurens. I know since we have been together for the last three years we have not spent more than a day or two apart, but this is a matter I cannot refuse Father on." John took a deep breath, and glanced between his lovers faces rapidly. 

Tears welled in Alex's eyes, and he fought to keep them down, not wanting to appear weaker than he already felt. He doesn't like the thought of being without John, their whole dynamic will be off. Who will cook dinner Monday and Wednesday's? Who will sing and dance with him while Lafayette is at work? Who will play with his hair while he reads aloud to both him and Lafayette? He mostly can't stand the thought of John facing Henry Laurens alone. 

Lafayette mouth was hanging open until he suddenly snapped it shut. He glanced between John and Alex, willing the tension to melt away. This was going to be difficult to navigate, for John was already crying and Alex was trying, but failing, to contain his tears. 

"Mon coeur, we will work through this. Two weeks is not too bad, no? You will be back before you know it. Do you know when you are to leave?" Lafayette rubbed loving hands over John's before gripping him tightly. The thought of his little one being gone for two weeks was killing him, but he knows it could be worse. This will not be so bad, or so he desperately hoped.

John's head dropped and tears fell silently on the table. Why was this so hard? He spends every second of almost every day with them, maybe time apart would do some good for them. 

John knows it won't. 

"I have to leave tomorrow." John jumped when Alex suddenly slammed his hands down on the table. A short breath of air escaped Lafayette in surprise, and he gazed at Alex with stormy eyes. He knows Alex is hurt, and that this is not going to be good. 

"Are you fucking kidding me? You have to leave us for two weeks and you drop the bomb the day before? What the hell John? This is bull shit and you know it." Lafayette shot Alex a warning glare, and Alex huffed begrudgingly. Lafayette turned a softer gaze to John. 

"We will take you to your flight, little one. We can start packing now and you will be ready to leave before we go to bed tonight, okay?" John nodded slowly and turned his gaze to Alex. Alex just looked away and stubbornly folded his arms across his chest. John let a small whimper escape his throat and looked pleadingly at him. Alex looked at the ground, not meeting either of their eyes. 

John stood up and walked around the table to Alex and cupped his cheeks in his hand softly. He brought Alex's face up to his and brushed their lips together lightly. He rubbed his face gently, softly playing with his hair. John wasn't used to seeing this side of Alex, him being vulnerable and almost breakable. 

"Alex please, I know this is terrible but we will get through it. Two weeks isn't a terribly long time, and I will be back before you even notice I was gone." The sobs finally escaped Alex's throat and the tears rolled down his cheeks like waves. He threw his arms around John and wailed. 

"I don't want you to leave Jacky, I'll miss you too much. I have seen you every day for three years you can't just go away now. Please Jacky you can't leave please please." John ran soothing hands over Alex's back, Lafayette joining in and hugging Alex from behind. John and Laf shared a loving kiss over Alex's shoulder and laid their foreheads together. They stayed like this until Alex's cries broke off into soft hiccups and small whimpers. 

John pulled back and kissed the tears away that still laid on his cheeks and brushed the hair from his face. Alex laid his cheek into John's hand, nuzzling slightly into it. John hummed affectionately and kissed Alex's forehead. Alex was beautiful, all soft curves and fine lines but always a force to be reckoned with. That's why John loves him so dearly, for he's always a fire raging that keeps their three hearts alight. 

"I'll be okay, baby girl. I promise." Alex nodded, and reached behind him suddenly craving Lafayette's touch. Sensing this, Lafayette's immediately wrapped his arms around him and laid his head on his shoulder. 

John kissed Lafayette softly, then Alex. They went back and forth over and over, placing loving kisses all over each other's faces. They slowly moved down each other's bodies affectionately, removing clothes and replacing them with love marks instead. The love they made that night was calm, slow, and gentle. They adored each other's bodies, moving slow hands and re-exploring the crevices they had come to know over their years of shared love and passion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is the day John leaves, and the boys aren't sure how they feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the chapters will get longer, and be warned each new chapters will flip between John's POV and then Alex and Lafayette's POV until he boys are reunited. The feelings at the end from the boys were ones I had when my father was leaving for Poland for his job, so I hope it conveys well.

Alex woke up first and nuzzled into the back of John's neck and inhaled his scent deeply. He always smells so good, a mix of apples and cinnamon that always sated Alex whenever he was tense or upset. John has always been good at making Alex feel better, he's always known what to say or do to calm him down. John is the best thing that's ever happened to them honestly, and they know that. He was the last piece to their puzzle that now creates a beautiful picture which is their life. Alex's heart clenched as he thought about John leaving and he pulled him closer to his chest to leave soft kisses all over his now exposed cheek. John a small noise and smiled before turning over to fully face Alex. 

"Good morning baby girl. How you feeling?" John's had sleepy eyes and a tired smile that made Alex's heart absolutely melt. 

"I'm good Jacky, just thinking about how lucky we are to have found you." A blush settled across John's freckled face and he giggled. They kissed slowly and lazily, taking their time as if they had it. John had to leave in two hours, and it nagged insistently at the back of Alex's mind. 

"Mon âme what is all this noise?" Lafayette grumbled as he turned over with his eyes still closed. He felt around the bed until he found John and pulled him to his chest and away from Alex. John was shocked at first but quickly dissolved into giggled at the look on Alex's face, and made grabby hands at Alex so he'd scoot over to him. Alex huffed loudly and shuffled closer to John and wrapped his arms around them both, idly playing with Lafayette's curls. 

"That 'noise' was John and I having a nice time which you literally just pulled him out of. Which was rude, by the way." Lafayette rolled his eyes and kissed John behind the ear. 

"You are dramatic, mon âme. I am simply showing John a good morning before we have to leave the bed." Lafayette kissed Alex and then rolled out of bed. He pulled on a previously discarded t-shirt and stumbled out of the room to go make breakfast. 

"Mmm you're so damn cute John. I love you so much." Alex kissed all the freckles he could find on John's face and neck. 

"I love you more baby girl" John cupped Alex's cheek and stroked his cheekbone softly, admiring him. Alex and John kissed for a couple of more minutes until Lafayette poked his head back into the room. 

"Get up my loves. There are things to do before John is to leave. Like eating breakfast which I have finished. Allons-y!... Do not just stare at me, come before it gets cold!" Alex chuckled at the way Lafayette cocked his hips and placed his hands on them, pulling out his sass as John stuck his tongue out at him. 

"What're you gonna do about it?" John asked teasingly, purposely pushing Lafayette's buttons. 

"Do not make me come over there little one, I will throw you over my shoulder and force you to come." John raised his eyebrows up and down at Lafayette, who just shook his head in return and walked back to the kitchen. Alex laughed at his boys and reluctantly got out of bed with John and got dressed. They walked to the kitchen and sat down at the table where their food was set out. They ate in relative silence, enjoying each other's company. The food was amazing as always, some french style crepes that Lafayette enjoy cooking almost as much as John lovd eating it. John finished his food and sighed. 

"I have to leave soon. You guys are both coming with me to the airport right?" Lafayette and Alex looked at him as if he were the stupidest person they'd ever laid eyes on. Alex scoffed and took John's hand. 

"Of course Jacky. We're leaving in about twenty minutes so..." Alex's eyes dropped to the table as his sentence trailed off. Lafayette's heart broke a little at his boys and he took one of their hands each. 

"Yes mon couer we have to leave soon so let's get your bags together, yes?" John shook his head curtly and took their plates to the sink and set them down. They moved in tandem around their apartment gathering John's things he will need for the next two weeks and some last minute things and his toiletries. John took one of Lafayette's shirts and one of Alex's so he would have their scent with him and put them into his carry on bag. They traded kisses at the door before slipping out of it and catching a cab to the airport. 

The cab ride was quiet and sad, no one speaking as they cuddled together in the back seat. Alex could feel his heart breaking the closer they got to the airport. He clung onto John as if his life depended on it while pulling Lafayette closer so they were almost literally smothering John in affection. 

"Y'all are gonna kill me before I get on the plane" John chuckled and nudged Alex playfully. Alex huffed and snuggled closer to John. 

"I'll miss you Jack. I have no idea what we're gonna do without you here, it'll just be different in a bad way." Lafayette soothed a hand over Alex's hair. 

"You still have me Alex, I will still be here." Lafayette's tone sounded a little hurt, and Alex let out a distressed noise. He's never known Lafayette to be the vulnerable type, always so strong and taking charge. Commanding Alex and John in and out of bed, always being the epitome of power. Alex kissed Lafayette's hand and nuzzled against it lightly. 

"I know Laf, and I'm glad that you will be here with me. I love you so much." Lafayette returned he sentiment as the cab stopped in front of the airport. They tentatively exited the cab, and John paid the driver as Lafayette and Alex grabbed his bags. They followed John through the airport as far as they could go, and felt absolutely helpless as the time to depart came. 

"I don't know if I can do this guys. I'll miss you so much, I don't want to leave you." Tears slipped from John's eyes and Lafayette's brushed them away as he shed some of his own. They embraced in what can only be described as a bone crushing hug and sobbed. 

John swallowed hard and hugged his boys tighter, willing his tears to stop but knowing they never would. He feared he may cry through the whole visit home and never be able to stop. This was breaking his heart, it hurt almost as much when he lost his mother. This was his family now and leaving them would be the hardest thing he's had to do in a long time. It's almost too much to handle. 

Lafayette hugged his boys to his chest and breathed them in deeply. Tears openly flowed down his face, so he buried his face in John's hair. His heart wretched every time Alex let out a broken sob, the noise was unbearable. He felt John jerk each time it happened, and he desperately wished he could help them. John leaving was too much to handle, but he had to be strong for his boys so he pushed down his objections and instead pulled his boys impossibly closer. 

Alex was ugly crying and he knew it. Sobs wracked his whole body and he heaved. This is so hard and he has no idea how to handle it. Everyone in his life has left him except for John and Lafayette, and he fears John will never return. What would they do without John? What if he returns to South Carolina and realizes he doesn't want them anymore, that the time apart shows John that he doesn't need them? The thoughts only made Alex cry harder. 

"You will come back to us, right John?" Alex asked in a small broken voice, and John's breath actually caught in his throat from how hard it made his heart ache. 

"Oh baby girl I will always come back to you guys. You are my family, you're the most important thing in my life." Alex shook his head and burrowed further into their embrace. 

"That I am glad to hear, mon coeur. We don't know what we would do without you." Lafayette kissed the tops of John and Alex's head and pulled John back from their hug with sad eyes. 

"I have to get in my flight now, okay? I'll be back in exactly two weeks on next Sunday. Be sure you're here to pick me up." Lafayette and Alex resolved to shaking their heads solemnly and they kissed each other back and forth until John absolutely had to leave. Avoiding looking at the people staring, John got on his plane with tear filled eyes. He looked back at Lafayette and Alex one more time with a small wave, and then he was out of sight. 

John sat down in his plane seat feeling more alone than he'd ever felt in his entire life. Without the embrace of his boys he doesn't know how he will make it though these next two weeks. 

Alex and Lafayette stayed to watch John's plane take off, and walked slowly to grab a cab after it was out of view. They held hands and kissed sadly, cherishing the fact that they still had each other while John was gone, but hated that John was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I'm thirsty for tips and comments! I will try to keep my updates consistent with once or twice a week, but with my work and job schedule I will do my best!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 in South Carolina, John and Henry drop their big news to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long to write, sorry if there are any misspelled words I review everything myself. I can only catch so much!

The plane ride was awful. A baby cried the entire hour and a half, a man kept falling asleep on him, and the turbulence was just unbearable. Not to mention the shitty service of this particular airline that was unknown to John. He's always been a nervous flyer, and the cramped space accompanied by the loud noises was unsettling to say the least. The moment he stepped off the plane, he whipped out his phone and called his boys. It rang for less than a second before he heard familiar voices over the phone. 

"Mom couer! You have landed safely, I see!" John smiled at the comforting sound of Lafayette's voice, whatever tension he was holding melted away instantly. He heard shuffling on the other line, a squeak, and then someone take a deep breath.

"How was your flight? Are you okay? Do you know where to go? Do you know how you are going to get there? Do they know you've landed? Are you safe? Do you miss u-" There was a thump on the other line, a high pitched whine, some grumbling, and then a mumbled apology.

"I'm okay baby girl. I am safe, Marty is picking me up and taking me home. And yes I miss you all very much." The rest of the conversation was over too quickly with I loved you'd exchanged at the end, and before he knew it he was alone again. He walked quickly through the airport to grab his luggage and sent a quick text to Martha asking where she was. His phone dinged a couple minutes later saying she was right behind him, and then he felt a familiar pair of skinny arms wrap around him. 

"Oh Jacky it's been way too long since you have visited home! I missed you so much!" John turned around to face her and Martha swung him back and forth, kissing his cheek. 

"I missed you too Marty." John relished in the comfort of her embrace and sighed. Martha understood him better than any of his siblings, and he knows he wouldn't make it through this visit without her. She's his only hope. 

Martha led him through the airport and out to her car, closing the passenger door behind him. John insisted he could load his bags into the car himself, but one look from Martha was enough to shut anyone up. She turned the car on and sped off in the direction of their childhood home. 

She asked a million questions about his life in New York, mostly wondering about his art studio. They ran through the basic questions of life, him asking about David and his siblings, her about his apartment and the city life. John faltered when she asked if he had a partner back in New York that was waiting for him to come home. He knows he can trust Marty more than anyone here at home, and it would be easiest to start with her first. 

"So, uhm, about that. I'm gay. And I have two boyfriends." John twirled his thumbs nervously, not meeting Martha's side eye. They sat in silence for a couple of moments not saying anything. John jumped when Martha suddenly laughed until she had tears in her eyes.

"It's about damn time you came out with it Jacky! I was so tired of pretending like I didn't already know!" Martha let out another hardy laugh and John stared at her in awe. She already... knew? How many other people knew? 

"Uhm..." Martha laughed again and clasped John's hand comfortingly. 

"Don't worry I'm the only one who knows. But how could I not know? You may be five years older than me, John, but I'm not stupid. I saw the way you gawked at boys, it was no secret to me." John considered this for awhile. Martha did know him better than anyone so this truly isn't surprising if he's being honest with himself. 

"How do you think father will react?" John glanced at her nervously, and she returned the same nervous glance. 

"I don't think he will be too thrilled. Just make sure that if you're going to tell him you bring it up gently. He is a republican senator after all, and he literally signed a bill today not supporting gay marriage in South Carolina." John groaned loudly and smacked his head against the window a few times for good measure. What did Father even want? 

"Tell me about your boyfriends! Do they treat you well?" Martha poked John on the cheek as she waited for an answer. John huffed and pushed her hand away with a laugh, then decided to indulge her. 

"Well their names are Alexander Hamilton and Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de La Fayette, Marquis de La Fayette." Martha gaped at him for a few seconds before she finally spoke. 

"His name is what?" John shook his hand around in the air dismissively and giggled.

"Don't worry, we just call him Lafayette. He's from France, and probably the hottest person you'll ever see. Alex is a journalist for the top news station in New York. He's so incredibly intelligent and his mind runs a thousand miles a minute. He's just the sweetest thing In the whole fucking world. Lafayette is in the middle of some weird catering thing? I don't know he kinda does whatever he feels like, not like he really needs the money anyway. He's honestly the glue that holds us together and I have no idea what I would do without either of them." John had a sated smile on his face as he spoke, always enjoying any opportunity to gush about his boyfriends. Martha watched him with fascination. 

"Damn Jacky. How did you get so lucky? They sound amazing, and it's not hard to see the love you have for them. I'm proud of you." Martha leaned over and kissed John's temple before jumping out of the car. When had they arrived to the house? He hadn't even noticed the car stop, and he was not looking forward to going inside. 

John grabbed some bags out of the car and trudged up the steps into his childhood home. It hasn't changed a bit, and he quietly decided this is a bad thing. It harbored so many bad memories. His mothers final moments, all the fights between him and Father, the nights he had to sneak out to see a secret boyfriend or hang out with his friends. All the words filled with hate exchanged between him and Henry Lauren's bounced off the walls and flooded his mind, fogging his thoughts momentarily. 

He was pulled out of it by a small commotion coming from the hallway, and he heard the sound grow louder and louder from the hallway before he saw it. He whipped around and then suddenly was on the ground as three bodies slammed into him simultaneously in a hug. He flinched from their screams of joy. 

"Jacky you're home! You're finally home!" James screamed directly into his ear. John groaned while hugging them back before pushing them off and rubbing his sore butt. 

"Come on guys let him get up." Mary stretched her hand out and helped John up before lifting Henry Jr up off the ground too. 

"Watch it, I can pick myself up." Henry Jr said in a dismissive tone before shaking Mary off. She rolled her eyes and flicked him in the ear. They were about to go at it until they noticed James bouncing around John excitedly and chirping loudly. John firmly placed his hands on James shoulders to calm him down. 

"Chill out little dude." John said mockingly and shook his shoulders lightly. James stared up at John in mock horror. 

"Who are you calling 'little dude' you fuzz ball? I'm 14, I am not little. I'm insulted at such a derogatory name." John smacked him upside the head and rolled his eyes. 

"You don't even know what the word means dumb ass." John whipped his head around to glare at Henry Jr. 

"The language in this house, my lord." John muttered under his breath and shook his curls around dismissively. 

"Don't be a hypocrite John, Martha told me all about your potty mouth when you were 16." Henry Jr smirked at John, which was always taken as a challenge in this house. John was about to retaliate with a smart ass comment, when suddenly Martha was pulling him down the hallway. 

"May I help you?" John asked her, slightly annoyed at the sudden intrusion. 

"Father wants to speak to you now." John's blood ran cold and he came to a complete stop in the hall way, causing Martha to jerk back with a grunt. 

"I can't go in there. I can't talk to him Marty he's gonna tear me apart I can't do it I need Lafayette and I need Alex please." Tears leaked silently out of his eyes as he stood in stock horror in the hallway remembering the way he left home. The yelling, the name calling, things being thrown, the slap that ended it all. That was four years ago he hasn't talked to Father in four years and he can't now. 

"Jacky it'll be okay. I'll be right outside the door if you need me. He seems to be in one of his better moods so maybe everything will go okay?" John took in a shaky breath and hastily wiped his tears away, his hand lingering a moment too long on the spot his father smacked him four years ago. Martha gave him a knowing look and kissed the spot before kissing his forehead. She gently led him into Henry's office before closing the door behind him. Henry stood up slowly and turned around to face John. Henry ran judging eyes over his whole body, sneering slightly when he brought his eyes back up to his face. John shrunk back and almost folded in on himself until Henry cleared his throat and averted his scrutinizing gaze. 

"Hello, John." He said coldly, no hint of emotion on his face. John's eyes dropped to the floor and he toed the carpet. 

"Hello, Father." John hated the way his voice sounded, so small and broken. Scared. 

"I know you're wondering why I asked you to come home Jacky. We need to talk, so could you take a seat please?" John rolled his eyes and sat down unceremoniously. They again didn't talk until Henry cleared his throat. 

"What do you want me to say? I am waiting for you to tell me why I am here." John wished his voice wasn't quivering, that he wasn't so terrified of facing his father. Henry visibly stiffened and took in a deep breath. 

"Okay, then I will get right to the point. How would you feel about moving back home? You don't have much going for you in New York." John scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

"How would you even know? You have never visited me, called me, and you haven't even asked me about my time there since I've stepped foot into this office. How about my art studio? The friends I have? The home I own there?" John sat back in his seat and crossed his arms. He locked eyes with Henry, and took deep soothing breaths. 

"John, you could just as easily do all that here. You have no one there more special to you than your siblings here. You have no one." John's blood pressure spiked, and felt his skin flush. No one could piss him off more than his father. 

"Actually, yes. I do. I have significant others." He trailed off at the end of the sentence, trying to cover up the 's' at the end of other. Henry raised his eyebrows and cocked his head at John. 

"Oh yeah? Who? Because I've never heard of her." John chewed the inside of his lip until he tasted blood. He ran a hand through his hair and cleared his throat uncomfortably, not meeting Henry's eyes. 

"Their names are Alex and Lafayette." His father nearly fell out of his seat. He sputtered for a couple seconds, and then pointed at him accusingly. 

"Their? How many girls do you need, John?" Henry said, his voice full of disbelief. He stared at John with a cold gaze. John rolled his eyes. 

"They're men, Father." His father went stock still, and he stared at John without saying a word. He heard his father take a shaky breath and he braced himself for the worst. 

"I'm sorry, what?" John let out a frustrated growl and threw his hands into the air. 

"They're men, Father. Alexander Hamilton and Lafayette. I'm gay. I like dick in my ass." His father stood up so suddenly his chair fell over, and John shrunk back. 

"You will watch your tongue in my house, young man. Who do you think you are coming into my home and saying such things?" John stood up nose to nose with his father and laughed incredulously.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? Give me a break! The names you called me four years would make a sailor blush! You are the most hypocritical person in South Carolina! Why would I ever move home with you? You will never accept me for who I am, and everyone in this house fucking knows it. Nothing I ever do will be good enough for you Henry Lauren's! You are unbelievable!" John tried to take a steadying breath, but it was close to impossible with how rapidly he was breathing. His hands were in closed fist at his side, and his nails dug into his palm. 

"You need to move home with us John! It makes sense to be with your family! Those two men back in New York are not worth anything!" Henry's voice grew with each word and John only pushed back harder. 

"My family is in New York and out in that living room, not in here! They would never lay a hand on me no matter what was being said! There is no way I would ever move back here with you, the two weeks you asked me to stay is hard enough! They are worth everything to me, I love them with every fucking fiber of my being so don't ever think you can speak of them again as if you know them, because you know nothing of love, Father!" John was huffing by the time he finally bit his tongue, not realizing he was screaming. His face was red and tears of frustration ran down his cheeks, his hands were shaking rapidly and he turned away from his father. Henry sank back down into his seat and placed his face in his hands. 

"John, I don't know what to say. I know I haven't apologized for that day but I am sorry. I know it was wrong and it was unfair, but it's hard here at home without your mother. And before you storm out of here angrily there's something else I have to tell you." John looked down at his father expectantly, waiting for him to spit it out. He distantly remembers how annoying this was to Alex and made a note to apologize to him later. 

"Yes?" John said hastily, looking away. 

"Your mothers sister, Elouise, has leukemia."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and sticking around! I fear this is going to be a bumpy ride..


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette and Alexs first full day at home alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the smut sucks, I personally don't think I'm good at it but I enjoy writing it.

The ride home had been terrible because he was crying and he could see the red rims around Lafayette's eyes. He so desperately wished Lafayette would stop always trying to seem so strong for them and allow himself to be taken care of every once in awhile. The night had been bad, the empty spot in their bed feeling larger than it actually was. He couldn't sleep due to their phone conversation playing over and over again in his mind. The way John sounded, how broken and defeated his voice was.

_"She has leukemia, they caught it too late and I just... she isn't going to make it." John cut off with a chocked off sob which made Alex and Lafayette flinch away from the phone. The sound of John in so much pain and not being there to help was breaking their hearts._

_"I'm so sorry mon couer, I wish there were happier reasons for you to be home. We know how much she means to you." Lafayette understood what it was like to lose the last little piece of someone special, he knows it all too well._

_"John I wish there was more I could do. Baby boy I wish we were there with you, this is killing me." Alex hated not being there for John, that Henry fucking Lauren's was the reason._

_"Me too... and Father and I got into a fight about you guys, it was pretty unpleasant. He's such a homophobic ass hole I just can't take it." John's voice sounded so defeated, it made Alex's stomach churn._

_"Did he touch you, John? I swear to god I will come down there and whoop some ass so fas-" Lafayette hushed Alex briskly, willing him to calm down so he did not upset John more than he already was._

_"No baby girl, we just yelled at each other for awhile. Afterwords I just ran out and cried in my room, then called you guys." Alex let out a loud sigh of relief, finally unclenching the first he hasn't realized we're clenched in the first place._

_"Well it is late John, you should go to bed yes?" John blew a huff of air threw the phone and sighed in defeat._

_"I guess, I just miss y'all so much." Alex smiled at how thick John's accent was when he was tired, he's always adored it._

_"We miss you too baby girl. Not too much longer and you'll be back here where you belong. Sleep tight, we love you." John whined through the phone quietly, and Lafayette knew he was pouting._

_"Don't pout John, you need sleep. You had a tiring day and it's best for you right now. Love you, sleep well." Lafayette laid his head on Alex's and kissed his hair._

_"I love you all too, good night."_

He was at work, but It didn't feel like it. He hadn't accomplished anything, too caught up in his own mind and thoughts. Alex jumped when someone placed a firm hand in his shoulder.

"You should go home, Alexander. This is the second time I have walked into your office in the last hour and you have been staring off into space. I know you miss John, and to be frank, you look terrible." Alex looked up at his boss and sighed. He hated when Washington saw him this way, vulnerable and weak.

"I'll be fine sir it's only five o'clock. I'm just a little tired but-" Washington cut him off by holding up his hand and tutting quietly.

"Go home, Alexander." Alex slumped into his desk and murmured in agreement. He shot off a quick text to Lafayette that he was heading home early under Washington's orders. His phone dinged a few seconds later saying he was in the same situation as him. Great.

He made his way down the hallway slowly, hoping no one would talk to him. He knows he wouldn't be able to handle it today, that his patience are shot. He didn't like anyone in his office except for Eliza and Angelica, but they were both away together for the summer. Some beach house their father had bought? He can't find the energy inside himself to care.

"Ahh Mr. Hamilton, are you leaving so soon? What's the matter, miss your boy toy?" Alex stiffened and turned his head to face the intruder.

"Can you just fuck off Jefferson? Can you for one god damn day just leave me alone." Alex willing his blood to stop thrumming so hot through his body, because he knows without John here there is no one to calm him down the way he needs it. Jefferson scoffed and sauntered off down the rest of the hallway, glaring at Alex before slamming his office door behind him.

Alex scurried out of the office and into the street, breathing deeply. He fumed the whole way home and walked with his head down. Lafayette was there waiting for him when he finally burst through the door and slammed it shut. Lafayette opened his arms slightly, inviting Alex in for a hug. He threw all his stuff in the ground and slammed into him immediately.

"Laf" He let out weekly and then slumped into him completely. Lafayette ran a soothing hand over his hair, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

"Tell me what happened, mon âme." Alex let out a low groan and pulled them to the couch so they could slump down together.

"Jefferson being an ass. Washington told me I looked terrible and that I need to go home because I'm unfocused. What wrong with me?" Lafayette chuckled quietly and pulled Alex into his lap.

"There is nothing wrong with you mon amour, you miss John and this is not a bad thing. A day off work would not kill you either because you work entirely too much for one person." Alex huffed and snuggled into Lafayette's chest further, stealing his body heat. He dozed in and out for half an hour as Lafayette held him close and played with his hair.

Eventually, Lafayette sat Alex down on the couch went to prepare dinner. Alex scrambled up quickly and followed him to the kitchen.

"What are you makin'?" Alex asked innocently from his stool behind the island counters. Lafayette gave him a look and shook his head.

"I am making dinner, obviously." Alex rolled his eyes and plopped his chin down into his palm.

"No shit Sherlock, what are you making for dinner?" Lafayette stuck his tongue out at him and continued to chop the vegetables he had laid out from the fridge.

"I am making penne pasta with vegetables, because it is delicious and I want it." Alex watched him cook, loving the way he methodically moved around the kitchen. Lafayette always looked at ease while cooking, never missing a beat when it came down to it. He always made it look so easy and effortless, and it was kind of hot. Plus, it always made the apartment smell good.

Alex's mouth watered as Lafayette served their food and set it down on the table. If the way it smelled was any indication, this was going to be absolutely delicious. The moan he let out when he finally took a bite was sinful, and Lafayette smirked.

"Is it good?" Lafayette asked smugly, chewing a bite of his own.

"Oh god yessss it's so good." Lafayette put on a false thinking face and tapped the end of his fork on his chin.

"Now why does that sound so familiar?" Alex threw a piece of paste at him, which he gracefully caught in his mouth and smiled. They continued to banter back and forth while eating before they cleaned their now empty plates together.

"What do you wanna do now?" Alex asked, unsure of what to do without John to be hyper and making crazy suggestions.

"Can we go sit in the balcony? There is a full moon tonight and it is to be beautiful." Alex nodded enthusiastically and followed his boyfriend outside. Lafayette settled down in the lounge chair by the door, and instead of sitting in his own Alex decided he'd rather sit on Lafayette. He cradled him close, stroking his cheek bone softly and listening to him breath. Alex could feel Lafayette's heart beat against his ear, and it was the most relaxed he had felt in the last two days.

"I miss John, the apartment is too quiet without him." Alex burrowed further into Lafayette's embrace and he kissed Alex's hair, moving his hand to stroke it soothingly.

"I miss him too, but we will make it out okay. I believe in us." Alex let out a quiet laugh and kissed the hallow of Lafayette's throat up to behind his ear.

"I mean, it is nice for it to be just us again. I missing having you to myself sometimes." Lafayette smiled and kissed Alex softly on the lips and then all over his face.

"Yes mon âme, It is very nice to have you to myself." Lafayette turned Alex around so he was straddling him and bit at his neck lightly. Alex let out a moan in the back of his throat and brought his lips to Lafayette's, letting Lafayette's tongue slip into his mouth easily. They made out like teenagers for what felt like hours before Alex pulled back for a breath and giggled.

"I don't think the neighbors would enjoy coming out on their balconies and seeing their gay neighbors making out." Lafayette loud out a dark laugh and continued to bite and suck at Alex's neck.

"Then they certainly are not going to like what is coming next, sweet thing." Alex sucked in a short breath and dove back in, kissing Lafayette with renewed vigor. Lafayette was an amazing kisser, and it always took his breath away.

The way their lips always melded perfectly together made Alex lose his mind each time. Alex ran his fingers through Lafayette's hair gripping lightly as he deepened the kiss, pulling him impossibly closer. He felt like he was trying to crawl under the other mans skin, as if hip to chest contact wasn't enough. It's not enough, it's never enough. The ache he felt in his heart was fierce because he loved him so much, and it was always too overwhelming to think about. Lafayette slid his hands up the back of Alex's shirt and rubbed his back softly.

"You are so beautiful, Alexander. I hope you know this." Alex smiled against Lafayette's lips and pulled back to take his shirt off, letting it drop to the ground. Lafayette ran his hands up Alex's torso and pinched his nipples lightly, making him squirm. He ran his hands down his stomach, admiring the few scattered freckles that laid there and the sparse happy trail that disappeared into his pants. He sat up to suck, bite, and kiss at Alex's exposed chest leaving marks in his wake. Alex let his head drop back to enjoy Lafayette's lips on him. They were soft and gentle, but urgent and rushed at the same time. It made Alex's head swim, clouded his mind and drove him crazy. Alex tugged at Lafayette's shirt a few minutes later, a silent plea for him to remove it. Lafayette sat up slightly to allow Alex to pull it off and drop it to the ground.

The mans body still look Alex's breath away, and he grew slightly harder as he ran his hand down the other mans chiseled chest and abs. Lafayette pulled Alex into another languid kiss, their hands roaming freely. Alex let out an uncharacteristic squeak when Lafayette boldly cupped his crotch and gave it a firm squeeze. Alex babbled, begging for more contact and Lafayette happily obliged. He wiggled Alex out of his pants and boxers and played with his dick softly, not squeezing hard enough to provide relief but just enough to make his presence known.

"Laf, please I need you." Alex said this in a breathy whisper in his ear that made his skin crawl. He sounded so desperate so needy, it made Lafayette's skin burn with want. Lafayette pulled the lube out of his pants pocket and handed it to Alex as he shuffled out of his pants and kicked them to the floor.

"What the fuck Laf? Why do you have this?" Alex asked while thrusting it back into his hand. His let out a needy whimper and let his head fall onto Lafayette's shoulder.

"In case the need ever arises that I would need it." He said this as he covered his fingers in lube and warmed it up. He slowly moved his and behind Alex and rubbed at his hole gently and teased him. Alex pushed back trying to force it in and Lafayette stilled him with his other hand, and silenced his moans with a kiss. Alex moaned low in his throat into his mouth as he finally pushed his finger in, thrusting it in and out slowly. He slowly added the second finger, scissoring open his hole gently and brushing his prostate. Alex howled when Lafayette finally pushed down on it insistently, making tears spring to Alex's eyes. He added a third finger and thrusted them in and out with sniper precision until Alex was a babbling, pleading mess.

"Oh god, Laf please I need you. I need you inside me now I can't take the teasing about please just-" Alex was cut short by Lafayette pushing in to the hilt, and Alex practically screamed. Lafayette's shushed him with a small smile before thrusting softly, making Alex keen for more. The feeling of being connected this way to the person he loved so much was intense Alex didn't know how to feel. He needed to be closer but wanted to lean back and watch Lafayette from afar. He needed him in every way at once.

Lafayette's watched Alex work himself up and down his cock. He looked so beautiful, his tan skin covered in a layer of sweat making the moon shine off him perfectly. It was mesmerizing the way he looked in the moonlight, as if Lafayette were seeing him for the first time. He looked to be in pure bliss while riding Lafayette slowly with his head thrown back, almost at a teasing pace. Lafayette's breath caught in his throat when they made eye contact and Alex moaned out his name. This man was driving him mad and he had absolutely no idea. Lafayette ran his hand up Alex's torso, admiring the way his muscled moved underneath his skin, the way his hair almost glowed in the moon light.

"Alexander, mon âme, my love, my everything you are perfect. So perfect I love you so much." Alex ground down hard on Lafayette's cock and slumped forward to kiss him.

"I love you too Laf." Alex worked a little faster, them both chasing their orgasms. They murmured praises and words of endearment as they got close. They said I love you over and over again against each other's lips as they came together.

Alex whimpered softly when Lafayette pulled out. He wiped off Alex's release quickly with his own shirt before pulling him to his chest and hugging him tight.

"I love you." Lafayette whispered this into Alex's hair, and Alex took his hand and clasped it tightly.

"I love you too, Laf."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh and I literally just thought about that not everyone speaks French so I will translate their nick names now so you don't have to. 
> 
> Mon âme- my soul  
> Mon couer- my heart  
> Mon amour- my love


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is nervous about visiting his aunt Elouise in the hospital, and he truly has every reason to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took me so long to put up. I know it hasn't been that long but my life fell apart in like three days and it feels like it's been an eternity since I've posted. This also took so long to write because it make me physically ill thinking back to when my mother was in the hospital with cancer, and I truly apologize for the delay!

If John was being honest with himself, sleeping in his childhood bed again was weird. The feeling of curling up under the covers after a day of avoiding his father and playing with his siblings was all too familiar and it sent a nasty chill up his spine. He truly hated being back in this house.

The prospect of facing today seemed impossible. Visiting his aunt in the hospital... aunt Elouise always looked so much like his mother it was uncanny. Looking at her sick in a hospital bed, knowing there was no way she would ever be better made his heart clench. All the memories he had of watching his mother die flooded back and he felt as if he would be sick. Luckily, his phone ringing pulled him out of his thoughts before he was too far gone. He lit up at Lafayette's name showing up on his phone.

"Hey Laf, how are things at home? Where's Alex?" John heard a muffled scream come from the phone and his eyebrows shut up into his hair line.

"Ah well, about that, our dear Alexander is a little tied up at the moment. Literally." John laughed loudly before clamping a hand over his mouth, not wanting to wake anyone up.

"What did he do now?" John heard Alex trying to defend himself through his gag, but it was cut off with a sharp smack.

"Ah, well. He figured it would be okay to tease me this morning and you know how I do with that. I do not. Now he is tied up and gagged, it is quite a beautiful sight if I do say so myself." John dissolved into a fit of giggles thinking of Alex tied up under Lafayette's care.

"Smack his ass for me, if you would so kindly." Lafayette laughed on the other line and smacked Alex's ass soundly, making sure John could hear. John giggled and began to say something before he was interrupted.

"Whose ass are we smacking, Jacky?" John loud out a squeak and nearly dropped his phone on this ground. His cheeks burned bright red and he turned to face Martha.

"No one Marty! Get out of my roooom what the hell?" John could hear Lafayette laughing again loudly on the other end of the phone. Martha stood against the door with a smirk and her arms crossed.

"Just makin sure you're behaving Jack. We're leaving in about as few hours." John nodded rapidly then ushered her out of the room and slammed the door shut behind her.

"Oh my god I am so mortified I cannot believe this just happened to me." John buried his face in his hand and let out a loud sigh.

"Ah, little one, it will be okay. Martha is just joking, yes? All is well, stop being dramatic." John blew a harsh puff of air out of his nose and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Can you ungag Alex long enough to let me tell him I love him? I have to go so I can get ready to see Elouise." John heard some shuffling and then Alex take a deep breath.

"Hey baby boy, I love you so much. I can't wait to see you." John smiled at how breathless Alex sounded, missing being the cause of it.

"I love you too baby girl." Some more shuffling and then Lafayette was back on the phone.

"I love you John, good luck with today. I wish we were there mon couer." John sighed and caught back a stray tear that threatened to fall.

"I wish you all were here too Laf. I love you too, talk to you later."

John set the phone down and began to move around the room at a slow pace. The more he thought about today, the more the world seemed to slow down. This was eating him up inside, the thought of seeing his aunt sick. All the memories he had of her were happy, she was healthy and laughing. He'd never seen her any other way than what she was.

He rummaged through his luggage looking for clothes, settling for khakis and a deep forest green sweater. Alex bought him this for his birthday two years ago, and it still smelled like him. No matter how many times he washed it Alex's cologne clung to it, and John was grateful for it. He's always loved the way Alex smelled.

John made his way to the bathroom, slipping silently down the hallway and closing the door behind him. He grimaced when he looked in the mirror because his hair was sticking out every which way and he had dark bags under his eyes. He hadn't slept well without Lafayette and Alex wrapped around him, and he wondered if they felt the same. He wondered if they missed him at a sometimes, if they really needed him. He was the extra after all, Alex and Lafayette were already dating when they came into his art studio for one of the classes he did weekly. They were cute as can be, and still are. They attracted John like a magnet instantly, their loudness and ability to have fun no matter what always catching his attention. But they were already dating years before, maybe John being gone would make them realize they didn't need him in their lives after all. John shook his head, trying to shake those thoughts loose and refocused on fixing his biggest problem.

John tried to run a brush through his hair and groaned when it got stuck. There was only one way to fix his hair when it was like this and John cursed silently to himself. He yanked off his shirt and turned the bath nob on angrily before sticking his head under the water and adding conditioner. He worked his fingers through the curls slowly, massaging his scalp as he went along. Suddenly another set of fingers was in his hair and he jumped out his skin.

"Chillax Jacky, it's just me. Figured you could use some help." John relaxed when he realized it was Martha and settles into her hands easily. Her nails always felt best anyway, reminded him of his mother. She added some more conditioner to her hands and began slowly working it from front to back, massaging and coming through with her fingers all the way around. John swore he could have fallen asleep like this.

"Marty I'm gonna fall asleep like this." Martha chucked quietly and pulled out the last few tangles in his curls and let him sit up, slowly drying his hair off with a towel.

"Damn Jacky, when did you get ripped? I remember when you were the smallest boy in our neighborhood." John blushed and looked away, moving to cover up his body.

"I don't know, I just work out. I run a lot and lift weights with Lafayette every week." Martha took out a pick comb and began running it through his hair to make sure it was clear of all tangles before French braiding it slowly.

"This reminds me of when we were kids, remember? Father would yell at you and you'd get all hyped up and I would calm you down by brushing your curls and then braiding them." John rolled his eyes and shifted his position on the floor until he was comfortable.  
  
"Yeah, that happened a lot sadly." Martha made a noise in the back of her throat, sounding like she wanted to say something but decided to swallow it instead.

They stood together to look at his hair in the mirror and they both nodded affirmingly. Martha looks the most like their mother out of all the children. She had high cheek bones and a gorgeous smile, her dark brown hair making her blue eyes seem deeper than the ocean. She honestly looked just like John but a woman, only he'd never admit that to himself. Henry Jr and James looked like Father, which wasn't a bad thing per-say. Hopefully they don't adopt his shitty attitude along with his face.

John pulled on his shirt and they made their way out of the bathroom down stairs to where all the commotion was. They shook their heads in unison and walked into the kitchen. What John saw wasn't surprising in the least.

Henry was at the stove making breakfast, grumbling to himself and doing the best to ignore the way his children were telling. Henry Jr and Mary were fighting about something stupid as they always were. James was harassing their father, trying to see what he was making for breakfast. Henry would occasionally push James back and tell him to sit down at the table, but was always ignored.

John shook his head and walked over to James. He steered him towards the table and told him to stay seated. To John surprise, he obeyed without a second thought. He then made his way over to Henry Jr and Mary.

"Mary, you are twenty years old arguing with a sixteen year old, how about we grow up some yeah?" Mary glared at him and walked over to the table and sat down with her arms across her chest. John stared expectantly at Henry Jr until he followed in Mary's footsteps and sat begrudgingly at the table. Martha patted his shoulder as she took her seat which John gladly followed. His father gave him an approving look over his shoulder before turning of the stove and serving breakfast on six plates.

"What time are we leaving, Father?" James looked up at his father expectantly.

"Since we're all dressed we will leave to the hospital after we're all done eating." John blew out a harsh breath of air and cursed under his breath quietly. Today is going to suck.

\---

Hospitals always smelt of death and medication, but always smelt too clean. The memories made John's skin crawl, and Martha must have noticed because she always does, and she grabbed his hand. As they made their way back to Elouise's room he wished profoundly that Alex and Lafayette were there to comfort him.

Anxiety twisted in John's gut as he turned the nob to her door and he pushed it open. His siblings flooded in around him as he made his way to Elouise's bed slowly before placing has hand in hers. She turned to him sluggishly and smiled. Her hand was cold and frail and John feared he would break it.

"Jacky! It's so good to see you, I've missed you very much." John cringed internally at the way she sounded, her voice cracked and faded. She's already lost her hair, once the color of his mothers. She still looked like his mother, just more like the way she looked at the end of her life instead of the beginning.

"I've missed you too aunt Elouise, sorry I haven't visited more. I would have if I'd of known..." John squeezed her hand lightly and blinked back tears. This women basically raised him after he lost his mother and the thought of losing her too was almost too much for his heart to take.

"Don't cry John, it'll be okay. Everyone's time comes eventually and this is mine." John wiped away tears he didn't even realized had spilled.

"I'll just miss you, I wish there was more they could do for you." John leaned into her touch when she brought her hand to his cheek.

"Me too Jack, but we gotta take what we get. I've lived a great life thanks to y'all, so don't be sad. Because I'm not." John shook his head and grabbed Martha's hand. It's moments like these he wished the most that Alex and Lafayette were at his side because they could make him laugh. They would make him feel better. They would make everything better. A doctor came in the room quickly and gave everyone a sad smile.

"I wish I was here with good news, but sadly I am not." John looked over at Martha and chewed his lip. He braced himself for the terrible news he knew was coming. They were going to lose her soon and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Well?" John jumped when his father spoke, his voice cold.

"She only has a few days left. The chemotherapy isn't helping or the blood transfusions. We truly did catch it too late, and with how aggressive it is there isn't much we can do." John sighed and laid his head on Martha's shoulder, wishing desperately to leave. He wanted to run and keep running until he was in the middle of nowhere and scream until his voice gave out and he could no longer make a sound. Instead, he hugged James close to his side and kissed his hair reassuringly.

"Will she hurt?" James asked in a small voice, looking over at Elouise in her bed.

"We will keep her as comfortable as possible while she is here, I promise you that." James nodded his head and leaned further into John's side.

"Uhm, thanks doctor. Anything else you need to tell us?" Henry's voice softened when he looked at Elouise's. The doctor shook his head and hurried out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him. The rest of the visit was pleasant albeit sad. They reflected back on their childhood memories with Elouise, laughing about how goofy their lives seemed to be. Elouise and Henry told stories of their mother about back when she was younger, how wild and free spirited she was. John liked to think he was like his mother too, anything to not be like his father. When it was time to leave, Elouise took John's hand and pulled him down into a hug.

"I love you John, never forget that." John shook his head and kissed her cheek.

"I love you too, Elouise."

\--

John laid in bed that night and stared at the ceiling. Around three o'clock he heard a phone ring somewhere in the house and then shuffling. His bedroom door opened and Martha walked in with misty eyes. She didn't need to say anything, he already knew. He beckoned her over and wrapped his arms around her, holding her while she cried.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette's finds a way to fix their problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update, I've been camping for the last few days and all I learned from it is that I hate it. Thanks again for reading!

Lafayette laid his cellphone face down on the table and ran a hand through his hair with a groan. Alex rested his head on Lafayette's shoulder and let out a frustrated breath. They had just gotten off the phone with John who told them what happened and that the funeral would be in a few days. Guilt twisted in Alex's stomach as he thought about not being there for John.

"It's so messed up we're not there with him Laf. He's having such a hard time, it's our job to be there!" Alex stormed into the kitchen and started slamming things around to prepare dinner. Lafayette walked over to him slowly and placed a hand on his shoulder on his shoulder to try and calm him down which he shook of violently and took a deep breath.

"Mon âme, calm down please. It is wrong we are not there for John, I wish we were. It is our job to comfort him and it is hard to do from here, but being angry isn't going to fix that." Alex glared at Lafayette and began slamming things around again.

"Laf, it is absolute bull shit we are here right now because Henry Laurens is scared of gay people." Lafayette grabbed Alex again and brought him into a hug. Alex was tense in his arms and Lafayette could almost feel his blood boiling. It lasted for about three seconds before Alex pushed away again and stormed off.

"Alex ple-" Lafayette was cut off by Alex flipping over a bar stool in his fit rage. Alex grumbled under his breath angrily and crossed his arms, glaring down at the stool. Lafayette sighed and walked over to him, grabbed him by the wrist, and tugged him towards the bed room.

"Laf, I don't want to play right now." Lafayette rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"We are not playing, you can not control yourself so I will do it for you." Alex tried to pull away but Lafayette only tightened his grip with a disapproving glare and pushed him down on the bed. "Stay." Alex grumbled but obeyed, so Lafayette pushed him back and pulled hand cuffs out of the bedside table. Alex began a protest but shut up with one glare from Lafayette and then let himself be cuffed to the headboard.

"Well what are you going to do now? Leave me here?" Lafayette smiled a shook his head enthusiastically.

"You are correct. You're in time out, so I am finishing dinner and then will uncuff you if you are in a better mood and can talk reasonably to me." Lafayette walked out of the bed room and left Alex alone. He tutted to himself as he thought about Alex's temper, how it was always getting him into trouble. Outburst at work when a coworker is being annoying or is just wrong in general about anything, tantrums when things do not go his way, saying things he doesn't mean and instantly regretting them. He will just have to try harder to help him get it under control, but after about five years he was slowly losing hope. He was the same way when he was eighteen and has not changed a bit at twenty-three, but Lafayette knows he will never love him any less.

Lafayette began preparing an easy dinner, some spaghetti and homemade sauce that Alex loved. As he moved around the kitchen making dinner he began to formulate a plan in his head on how to make this situation better. He picked up his phone off the table after he sat the spaghetti to boil and made a quick phone call. The phone rang a few times before he got an answer.

"Hello? Who is this?" Lafayette smiled and breathed a sigh of relief when they finally picked up.

"Martha? Hello, this is Lafayette one of John's boyfriends. I have a question if you're available?" There was some shuffling and muffled voices on the other line, and then she was speaking in a low voice.

"What do you need?" She sounded just like John, only a girl and the accent much more think.

"It is killing Alexander and I to be here and not with John while he is going through this hard time. We would like to be with him and I was wondering if it wouldn't be too much trouble to come and visit?" Lafayette pulled the phone away from his ear when Martha squeaked into the phone.

"Oh, y'all that would be just wonderful! And don't you worry a thing about Henry Laurens I will take care of that! When would y'all be here?" Lafayette wondered how John and his siblings could be so kind while their father is not, but assumed maybe it was just their mother in them. Lafayette was thankful for this.

"The latest would be tomorrow afternoon, I can book a flight now and we will be there tomorrow. Can you pick us up at the air port?"

"Absolutely! Just text me what time and place and I will be there." Lafayette did a victory fist pump in the air.

"Thank you so much Martha, you will never know how much I appreciate your kindness."

"Anytime Lafayette. Can't wait to see you tomorrow!"

Lafayette looked up plane ticket information and bought two tickets for flights in the morning to South Carolina. He laid his phone down again and continued dinner, singing happily to himself. He knows both of his boys will be happy by this and he cannot wait to tell Alex. Lafayette placed their dinner on plates and set them down on the table. He walked back to the bedroom and walked into slowly, closing the door behind him.

"Are you calmed down now, mon amour?" Lafayette walked over to the bed slowly as if Alex were an animal that would flee if he moved to quickly. Alex looked up at him and shook his head.

"Yes, please uncuff me now." Lafayette smiled and happy undid his cuffs and set them down on the bedside table. Alex instantly threw his arms around Lafayette's neck and crawled into his lap. Lafayette rubbed his hair softly and kissed his head.

"I have good news for you, mom chéri. We are flying out tomorrow to South Carolina." Alex sputtered for a few seconds, a mix of being confused and happiness.

"But how? When did you even- what even- who did you- what?" Lafayette laughed and nuzzled his neck.

"I called Martha and asked her for a favor, and she was happy to do it. She is meeting us tomorrow at the airport with John." Alex smiled and kissed Lafayette on the cheek. He wondered what he did to deserve such great people in his life, how he went from having no one to having an amazing family. Some days, he truly feels like the luckiest person in the world.

"Can we go eat now? Being angry makes me hungry." Lafayette kissed him quickly on the lips before they walked to the kitchen hand in hand. Alex smiled when he saw the spaghetti and began eating quickly. Alex looked up with some spaghetti hanging out of his mouth with Lafayette watching him affectionately. Embarrassment burned on his cheeks when he realized how silly he looked and he swallowed his bite quickly. Lafayette laughed and continued eating his food, occasionally glancing up at Alex and smiling. Lafayette knows how lucky he is to have Alex and John in his life, and he wouldn't tics them up for the world.

Once they were both finished Lafayette began washing the dishes and Alex hopped up onto the counter. He swung his legs around lazily and leaned back against their cabinets.

"What time does our flight leave tomorrow?"

"At nine o'clock tomorrow. I have already texted Martha and told her to meet us there with John at that time." Alex nodded his head happily.

"I'm so excited to see John. I really don't think I would have made it through these two weeks without him." Lafayette made a noise in the back of his throat and turned around to lean on the counter.

"I do not think I could have either. I miss him dearly, and knowing he is hurting without us makes me feel terrible. He adored Elouise so much..." Alex hopped off the counter and leaned into Lafayette, wrapping his arms around his waist and leaned his head on his chest. Lafayette laid his chin on top of his head and held him close.

"Well, we will be there for him tomorrow and that's all that matters. We can help him get through this. I just hope it doesn't make things worse with Henry." Lafayette scoffed and hugged Alex closer.

"I do not think we need to worry about him, Martha said she will take care of him and so will John. I do not know where we will stay, but we may end up in a hotel somewhere nearby." Alex nodded his head slowly.

"You know John is going to want to stay with us. There's no way he's going to want to stay in that house without us there."

"I know, but we should not cause any more trouble than we already will. They are already having a tough time." Alex sighed and buried his nose in Lafayette's neck.

"Can we take a shower?" Lafayette nodded and then led Alex to the bathroom. He turned the water on and then began undressing Alex before he did himself. They stood in the shower together and kissed slowly before Lafayette began washing Alex's hair. He combed his fingers through it slowly and massaged his scalp. Alex leaned into every touch and let himself relax under Lafayette's gentle touches. Lafayette began washing his body slowly, massaging lightly as he went down. Any tension within Alex's body left and he felt boneless as Lafayette began to spray him off. Alex began the same treatment on Lafayette, his tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth as he scrubbed his curls. He began washing Lafayette's body, loving the way it felt underneath his hand.

Their touches weren't rushed, just gentle and calm. They explored each other's bodies as they had a million times before, but this time it wasn't sexual. Alex blushed under Lafayette's gaze again tonight, shrinking away from the adoration he found in his eyes. Sometimes he doesn't feel worthy of Lafayette, he knows he could do much better than Alex.

"I can feel you thinking too hard, mon âme. Even if I could do better than you, which I couldn't, I wouldn't want to. You and John are the loves of my life and that's all I need." Alex hates the way Lafayette read his mind. He pulled Lafayette closer to him and clung on as if his life depended on it.

"You guys are the loves of my life too, but everything just feels wrong without John. What if he realized while he's there that he doesn't need us in his life to be happy?" Alex looked up at Lafayette with sad eyes.

"I do not think that is going to happen. John loves us just as much there as he does here and I don't think anything will change that, yes?" Alex nodded his head and laid back against Lafayette. He listened to his heart beat and let him calm him down before he got worked up again.

"I love you." Lafayette kissed the tip of Alex's nose and ran his fingers through the wet strands of Alex's hair.

"I love you too, mon chéri." Alex and Lafayette got out of the shower and towels each other off before laying down in their bed. They called John and said their good nights, and Alex had a hard time keeping the fact they're going to see him tomorrow to himself. Once they hung up, Alex quickly rolled into Lafayette and wrapped himself around him. They fell asleep happily wrapped around each other, both with butterflies in their tummies.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John finally received his surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will begin in Lafayette and Alex's POV and end in John's. Writing this made me very happy, but don't get comfortable because it will be angst next chapter.

* * *

Alex woke up first, anxiety buzzing in his stomach. He was excited to see John though it had only been four days, but in his defense the longest he'd ever personally been away from John was a few hours for work. Lafayette was gone for a catering thing one day and it was torture. Four days felt like an eternity. He poked Lafayette in the side and he groaned while rolling over. Alex stifled a laugh at the way his boyfriend scrunched his face up into a pout.

"What?" Lafayette grumped while pulling the covers over his head. Alex giggled and yanked them back down. Lafayette groaned even louder and pushed Alex away slightly in a futile attempt to get more sleep. Alex leaned over and started kissing Lafayette all over his face while giggling and again Lafayette pushed him away and pouted. 

"You're always a grump in the morning, but you have to get up! Today we go see John!" With that, Lafayette bolted straight up in the bed in excitement then quickly composed himself as Alex burst into giddy giggles. Lafayette mumbled a shut up under his breath then stood up and began getting ready. He pulled on one of his favorite outfits and began throwing clothes and essentials into his bag hurriddly because they had fallen asleep the night before. He cursed himself for letting them fall asleep before he got to pack, he felt unorganized and frazzled doing last minutes packing. He mentally checked everything off his list twenty times before turning to face Alex.

Alex let out a low whistle when he finally caught sight of what Lafayette was wearing. Heat pooled in his gut and it took more self control than he had to stay standing against the wall instead of jumping Lafayette right then and there.

"Damn, do you always have to look so good?" Lafayette had a cream sweater pulled over a light blue collard shirt which both accentuates his dark completion beautifully. His tight green khaki pants had Alex basically drooling from the way they hugged his body perfectly. Lafayette pulled his wild, curly hair up into a pony tail and chuckled deep in his throat. Alex's breath caught in his throat when he pushed up his glasses and flashed him a flirtatious smile.

"Yes, I do." Alex laughed obnoxiously loud and wrapped his arms around Lafayette.

"I'm afraid you look too good. What if other people want you, how could I compete?" Lafayette placed his hand on Alex's cheek and kissed it softly.

"Then I guess I will have to tell them I am happily taken by two gorgeous boys, and they are out of luck." Alex smiled and kissed Lafayette soundly on the lips.

"Damn straight." Alex sauntered away, throwing clothes into his bag and then zipping it closed, patting it proudly. Lafayette envied the way Alex coildndo things last minute and not even think twice about it. It was also something he appreciated about Alex, always time efficient and getting things done. He shot Lafayette a thumbs up with a toothy smile.

"Do you have all your things packed?" Lafayette looked over at Alex as he nodded enthusiastically, his loose hair flying freely. They headed for the airport hand in hand, matching smiles.

\----

John's plan today was to lay in bed and wallow. He didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone, he just wanted to curl into a little ball inside his blankets and cry. He yearned for Lafayette and Alex, but wished to be left alone. John's plans for the day were ruined when Martha burst into his room bright and early to wake him up.

"Cmon Jacky, get up. We have places to go." John groaned and pushed Martha away.

"No." It was muffled by the covers he had pulled up over his head, which Martha gracefully whipped all the way down to his feet. John cried out and curled up in a ball in the middle of his bed.

"You're coming to the airport with me today to pick up relatives for the..." she let herself trail off, because that didn't need anymore explaining.

"Fine. But why can't Mary go with you?" Martha grunted and waved her hand at him.

"Mary doesn't do shit for anyone but herself, let's go." John rolled out of bed and starting dressing lazily. He threw on sweat pants and an old tshirt with a sigh. Martha gave him a once over shook her head. She starting digging through his drawers to find something for him to wear.

"Marty, what are you doing?" Martha waved him off and told him to shut up. He plopped back down onto the bed with his arms crossed and pointed.

"Perfect!" Martha whipped out a white tshirt and a deep blue over coat with some dark wash jeans.

"I'm not wearin' that Martha. I'm tired I don't want to wear it." Martha pushed some hair out of her eyes and started leaving the room.

"We both know you're gonna change into the clothes Jack, so just do it and meet me down stairs in five." John mocked her under his breath as he changed, grumbling to himself the whole time. He walked down stairs slowly, still sulking. Martha patted him on the arm and gave him a look he didn't quite understand, so he chose to ignore it.

He followed her to the car and sat begrudgingly in the passenger seat and laid his head on it. He wanted to give Alex and Lafayette a quick call to let them know he was out of the house but realized he left his phone so he decided to sleep instead. Martha made this easy by not talking to him, just humming happily to herself. John glared at her, wondering how she could be so happy in a situation like this. When they finally pulled up to the airport, all John felt was dread. He was exhausted from head to toe and his heart was aching. Nothing felt right, Elouise being gone, not having Lafayette and Alex, being away from home, not, being in New York, his art studio closed down for the two weeks. Everything just felt off, and John just wanted to feel okay again.

"Who are we picking up here?" John slammed his car door shut to indicate that he was still upset that she had made him come and Martha easily brushed it off because she knew his mood would change any minute now. Martha couldn't help but feel happy, the feelings of the last few days washing away. Seeing John happy always made her feel good, and she couldn't wait to see his smile again.

"Just some cousins and stuff. No big deal." John grunted in assent and continued to shuffle his feet as they walked. They stopped at what he was assuming was their gate and waited for about ten minutes. Walking made John feel more tired than he already had and he just wanted to drop off the face of the planet and sleep until everything was okay again. Martha nudged him to get his attention and he brushed her off, thinking it was something stupid she had to say. He only looked up when she nudged him hard enough that he almost fell over. He looked up with a glare but quickly followed her finger to where she was pointing at two figured walking toward them. John's lungs nearly collapsed when he finally knew who it was.

He broke into a full sprint and slammed into Lafayette, wrapping his legs around his waist. Alex hugged him tightly from behind and hit his tears in the back of John's shirt. John places kisses all over Lafayette's face and nearly knocked his glasses off. He fixed them before continuing to kiss him until he felt like his lips would fall off. His heart pounded hard in his chest, he knew Lafayette and Alex could feel it. He felt Alex's heart beating just as hard against his back and Lafayette's pulse racing beneath his arms. He suddenly felt like he wasn't close enough to either of them. He knows if they weren't standing in the middle of an airport with Martha and all these other people around them he would be trying to undress them rapidly and re-associate himself with their bodies.

"What the fuck are you guys doing here? Why didn't you tell me?" John was still clinging to his boys for dear life, tears falling freely and he buried his nose is Lafayette's hair. Lafayette was squeezing him so hard he feared he would break John, but none of them cared. John reached around and clutched the back of Alex's shirt and tugged him impossibly closer. They stayed tucked against each other crying for who knows how long until Martha came up and poked Lafayette on the shoulder. He looked down at her and smiled, then pulled her into the hug too. She giggled and hugged them back until they finally pulled apart, but Lafayette kept John tucked underneath his arm as Alex held his hand.

"We wanted this to be a surprise mom couer. You were surprised, yes?" John laughed and nuzzled into Lafayette's chest before turning to kiss Alex on the mouth.  
  
"Yes, I'm surprised. I'm also very happy for you guys to be here, this was too hard without you." Alex kissed John on the temple and breathed him in letting his familiar scent calm him down.

"I know baby girl, that's why we're here. We couldn't stand the thought of you facing this without us." John smiled, finally feeling relaxed after the last few days of hell. They climbed back into the car after Lafayette placed their bags in the trunk. John was smooshed between Lafayette and Alex and he let himself calm down.

"Thank you for picking us up Martha, it was very kind of you." Martha smiled at Lafayette through the rearview mirror.

"It was no problem Laf, anytime. Now I should warn you about Father. He's not to fond of black people? Or gay people? Or foreigners for the most part? Which doesn't really make sense because Mother was foreign, but whatever. Anyway, take everything he says with a grain of salt." Lafayette nodded his head and pulled John closer.

"I am here for John, not Henry. So what he says does not bother me, I am not here for him." John smiled and kissed Lafayette on the cheek. John looked over at Alex who was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Alex looked at John and gave him a sad smile.

"If he's insulting Lafayette, I don't know that I'll be able to hold my tongue. And if he's yelling at you I might lose it." John cupped Alex's cheek and kissed him deeply.

"It'll be okay baby boy, I'll keep everything under control. I'm used to him yelling at me so it shouldn't be a problem, and Martha will be there. Oh so will Mary, James, and Henry Jr! Oh I can't wait for you to meet them! They will love you guys so much it'll be so cute. James is a little shy so just be careful and Henry Jr acts just like Henry but he's more open minded so it'll be okay and Mary is a bitch." Alex kissed John so he would stop babbling and he laughed against his lips.

"Calm down Jacky, I'm sure we will like them just fine." Alex ran a soothing hand down John's face and kissed his forehead.

"I am still not convinced I can't charm your father. I may be all three things he hates but I have a way with words." John laughed loudly and nudged Lafayette in the ribs. Alex looked at John lovingly as he laughed, admiring the way it made his eyes light up. Damn he was in love.

"I think you could win anyone over being dressed like that, I'm drooling." Lafayette laughed soundly and pushed his glasses up.

"He's right, I was pretty impressed." They turned their heads towards Martha in the front seat and just shrugged. They laughed and joked until they finally pulled up to John's house.

"Damn Jack, this house is fucking amazing!" John rolled his eyes playfully and hesitated before getting out of the car. Lafayette looked at him questioningly and cocked his head to the side.

"Are you play, mon couer? What's wrong?" John glances at Lafayette and Alex then to the house and clamored out of the car hastily.

"I'm nervous for you to meet Father. He wasn't informed of this and he's going to be very angry. He's not going to allow you guys to stay here with us and that will just make me upset and I will want to stay with you guys but that will just make Father more angry and I don't want to be a problem at this time an-" Alex kissed John soundly again to make him shut up and brushed his freckles lightly.

"It'll be okay Jacky, I promise." John nodded his head slowly and looked to Lafayette for reassurance. Alex smacked him on the back of the arm to get his attention which got him a warning glare before turning to John.

"All will be okay little one, we will figure this out together after the initial meeting, yes?" John nodded his head before taking in a shaky breath. He kissed Alex and Lafayette on the cheeks before leading them to the house slowly. He took one last look at the car and considered getting into it and driving off and never coming back.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry Lauren's meets Lafayette and Alex, and it goes worse than they could have thought possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This became waaaayyy longer than I meant it to! But it gets the job done I suppose. I got tons of ideas in my head on how I wanted this to go so here I am at 2:30AM to post this as I just finished writing it!

Martha walked in first and held the door open for the three boys and peered back at them nervously. John was tense, his steps stiff as he took each stride into the house. Lafayette and Alex both had a hold of one of his hands and they squeezed reassuringly. He shouldn't be this nervous, Father couldn't say anything to him now that he hadn't said before. Couldn't do anything he hadn't done before. Wouldn't lay a hand on him again. But that's what John thought before it happened, what would he do if it happened again? He knows this is a bad idea, that this will not end well. Father will blow up on them and lose his temper and lash out. He will say things he doesn't mean to let slip out. John will break. He knows he will break. He always does when it comes to his father.

"Calm down John, stop breathing so fast babe. You're gonna pass out." Alex pressed a kiss to his forehead and wrapped his arm around John's waist. John flashed wide frightened eyes at Alex.

Alex's heart twisted in his chest at the way John looked at him. He shouldn't have to fear someone this much. Lafayette slid his arm around John too and held him closer, willing his own mind to slow down. He knew this was a bad idea, he felt the mood shift down with every step they took.

"Father is in his study." Martha's voice made John jump and he shook his head lazily. His mind was clouded over with a thick fog. He walked down the hallway to his fathers study with Lafayette and Alex trailing behind him, sharing worries glances. John knocked on the door frame three times and nearly choked when his fathers eyes landed on him. Stone cold. Relentless. Empty.

"Uhm..." John fumbled over his words, unable to form them. Everything was spinning slightly, everything feeling off again. Lafayette spoke for him by poking his head around the door way and looking at Henry.

"Hello?" Henry stiffened visibly when he saw Lafayette. Lafayette's flashed him a worried smile and glanced down at John who was shivering.

"John. Who is that?" John looked at Alex and Lafayette behind them, unable to stop them as the filed into the room without a word.

"John's boyfriends. I'm Alexander and that's Lafayette." Henry fixed his cold gaze on John and rose from his seat and walked slowly toward him. Alex stepped in front of him and grabbed John's wrist to drag him closer to him. Henry turned his gaze on Alex, nothing but contempt in his eyes. Alex's eyes blazed back, daring. Lafayette cleared his throat, trying to calm the situation. He flinched when Henry turned to him. The tension in the room was almost suffocating, and John felt himself drowning. Memories of his childhood flooded back in horrifying waves.

"We're here for John. We have no intention of staying in your home, we just figured it would be nice to meet you now and not at the funeral." Henry scoffed and gave Lafayette a look of disgust.

"As if someone like you is going to be allowed into the funeral. You should not even be in my home. " Henry added emphasis on the word 'you', making sure it stung. Lafayette tried to mask his hurt, and to anyone else he did. But John knew. Alex knew. And Alex was pissed.

"Woah woah woah, we're here for John. So we're gonna be there for John. He needs us." Alex clutched John closer to his chest and Henry sneered, almost growling. Lafayette placed a protective hand on the small of Alex's back. The room was hot. It was too hot for John. He felt like he was buzzing out of his skin, felt like he needed to be free from it. Lafayette clutched John's hand to his heart and kissed it reassuringly.

"He doesn't need you for shit. He has everyone here he needs, you two are nothing. You've brainwashed my boy into your weird relationship and it needs to end now. It's depraved!" John broke away from Alex grip so fast he would have fallen if not for Lafayette's hand. His skin was boiling and his vision was blurry with unmitigated rage.

"You're right, I don't need them. I want them. I want them here because they make me happy, they are my family. Martha loves them, she has no problem with us being together. We love each other, Father. You haven't loved anyone since Mother died. They didn't brainwash me, I wanted this. I still want this." John's chest was heaving with each word and he willed his hands to stop shaking. Henry bared his teeth while giving Alex and Lafayette looks of disgust. Lafayette took calming breaths and hugged Alex closer to him.

"You are sinning, John. He is _black_ , and I don't even know _what_ he is." He pointed an accusatory finger at Alex, who glared back with rage written all over his face. Lafayette jerked him back when he attempted to take a step forward. "This is wrong in every way possible, Jacky. Just move back home and realize the errors of your ways and you can be okay. This is not love, this is disgusting." Henry motioned to the three of them and made an atrocious noise in the back of his throat.

"He is black and he is French and he is perfect the god damn way he is! Alex is from Nevis and he is also fucking perfect. It's not wrong, it's love. Gay people fall in love the same exact way straight people do. The exact same fucking way! I feel about them the way you felt about Mother. I saw the love you felt for her, I saw it until her last breath and I still see it. I love them that way. I love them. Father, please." John broke off with a choked sob and he castes his eyes down to his feet in shame. It burned hot in his cheeks as his father stared at him as if he didn't know him. Alex grabbed John's hand again and pulled him back against his chest. He settled soft eyes on John, forgetting where they were momentarily. Lafayette resigned behind Alex, his stance predatory and protective. Henry shook his head and stared at them in revulsion and pure rage. John noticed the way his fathers jaw was clenched, how his muscles were pulled tight, the way he was flushed. John noticed the way his body reacted the same to angry as his father, and it made his skin crawl. He needed out. He needed out out out out...

"Do not talk about your mother and being gay in the same way. This is not real, you can't love them like I loved your mother. She would be so disgusted with you John, she would be so disappointed. She would harbor so much distaste for the way you have turned out. She would hate you." John shrunk back in pain, the words slashing into his already wounded heart. His father knew that was the way to hurt John, by saying his mother would hate him. John's brain completely flushed and all words left his system. He felt his heart break. Alex tensed up behind him as he felt John start to shake. John's mind felt like a bomb had just gone off, his thoughts scattered and distant. The ringing in his ears blocked out all sound.

"What the fuck is your problem? We love John, how can you not see that?" Alex started towards Henry, but Lafayette held him back.

"Do not talk to me like that young man. Being what you are, you'll never know what true love is." Alex stepped out from between his boyfriends and took a warning step towards Henry. The air became more stifling with each word spoken, every move made. The air was sparking with electricity at the animosity that ran between Henry and Alex.

"Being what I am? I am in love with your son, Henry Laurens. You are so hypocritical in your ways. Discouraging gay marriage but having a gay son with two boyfriends, being racist but your wife was not from America!" Henry advanced on Alex and was nose to nose with him.

"Do not talk about my wife, you disgusting thing. She has no place on your tongue. You have corrupted my son, you have broken him. My wife would disapprove of all of you, she'd hate you all." Alex's nostrils flared and his hands twitched. John's weak sobs made his blood run cold with anger. How could someone speak this way about their own son? How could someone speak this way about John, the most precious thing in the world? Alex's composure broke and he went to lunge at Henry, but Lafayette caught him around the waist and yanked him back, holding him tightly to his chest. Alex spouted profanities at Henry, calling him names and questioned his integrity. He squirmed viciously in his arms and shouted to be let go. Panic washed over Lafayette as the situation escalated and became more and more out of control.

"Mon âme, please calm down." Lafayette whispered soothingly to him in French until Alex calmed down enough to wrap his arms around John and hold him. John clung to him and sobbed, babbling quietly. Saying he's bad, disgusting, worthless, nothing, gross. He chanted the words over and over almost as a prayer into Alex's chest. Alex shushed him, glaring over him at Henry. Henry was staring at them in pure discontent.

"Sir, please. We did not mean to cause so much trouble in your home. I simply wanted to introduce ourselves and then leave graciously. I should not have let Alex get so out of control, he has quite the temper." Henry stared at him in confusion first, then blatant anger.

"You should not have let him get out of control? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you controlling them? What kind of relationship is this Jacky! How can you even..." Henry trailed off and raked a hand over his face.

"No, just he sometimes needs help staying calm and I take on that responsibly after so many years. I promise, sir, all of this is consensual. John is not engaging in anything he doesn't to and he was not made to do anything against his will." Henry waved a dismissing hand at Lafayette.

"Don't even talk to me. Listening to you speak makes me nauseous. John, get the fuck out of here. I'm tired of looking at you." John's knees gave out and he collapsed completely into Alex, overcome with grief. Alex shot Henry one more glare before taking John out of the room with Lafayette right behind them. Martha ran up instantly and grabbed John.

"Jacky, are you okay? Nothing he said was true. Mother loved you, I know she did. She loved you more than anything in this world like she loved everything else. You're perfect jack please stop crying. It'll be okay I promise." Martha held John close to her as he cried, rubbing his back the way Mother used to when he was worked up. Alex and Lafayette shared a worried glance and walked over to John and Martha. Lafayette placed a hand on Martha's shoulder to get her attention.

"Please let us take him somewhere. We can help him away from here, yes?" Martha nodded silently, rubbing at her blood shot eyes. Lafayette nodded at Martha knowingly before pulling her into a hug. They made eye contact, no words needed. Martha knew they would take care of John better than she could.

John had stopped crying but was slumped silently into Alex's chest. His eyes were vacant, which scared Lafayette. He'd never seen John this way, he knew John was hurt. He hated not knowing how to help, hating not being able to change his father for him. Lafayette's heart lurched at the tiny sobs that were still escaping John's lips, at the look on Alex's face. Things were falling sort and for once in his life he couldn't fix them and make his boys better. He led them out of the house hastily and called a cab. He looked up a hotel online and booked the room hastily and gave the cab driver the address. He pulled John into his lab and Alex to his side. He held them close, fearing they'd slip away if he ever let go.

Lafayette paid the driver and scooped John ink his arms. Alex followed closely behind, ignoring the looks they were receiving from the other people in the hotel lobby. Lafayette quickly checked them into their room and ushered John and Alex quickly. He burst in the door and instantly sat John down on the bed and spoke words of love into his ears. It had no effect of John, he was too far gone.

Would his mother hate him? Is he disgusting? Do Lafayette and Alex think he's disgusting and unlovable? Would they still want him? Does his family still want him? Will he be alone?

"No baby, you'll never be alone. I promise." John glanced around the room, vision blurry and ears still ringing high. His resolve finally broke and he started sobbing. He sobbed until his throat hurt. He thought he was screaming, but he couldn't be sure. He heard voices around him but they weren't saying words. He felt his heart beating but was afraid he had finally died from grief. Could anyone love him?

"Laf, what do we do?" Alex stared down at John who was curled up on the bed in a ball, screaming. He was screaming no one loves him. That they were going to leave him. That his family would hate him. That his mother hated him. He wasn't responding to anything they were saying and Alex willed himself to stay calm. He cursed Henry Laurens in his head over and over again as he stroked John's hair.

"Go start the bath, Alex." Lafayette nodded at him curtly and pulled John into his lap. "You're okay little one, I have you. You're here and you're mine, I'll never let you go. I love you so much John. We love you so much, you'll always be ours." John looked up at him with glossy eyes.

"Always yours" John whispered back to Lafayette. He shook his head and cupped John's cheek.

"Always ours Jacky. You'll always be ours." John nodded and buried his face in Lafayette neck. He repeated those two words over and over again, slowly coming down from his panic attack.

"I'm taking you to the bath now, okay?" John nodded and let himself be carried and then stripped. Luckily, Lafayette had booked the best suite in the hotel so they could all fit in the bath together. They sat down together and they took turns cleaning different parts of John. They whispered praises and promises into his skin as they kissed him. Alex made sure to kiss every freckle he could see on John's baby.

"You're so beautiful John. You're perfect, our perfect baby boy." John cupped Alex's cheeks and kissed him.

"Beautiful. Perfect. Yours." Alex laid his forehead against John's and repeated the words back to him.

"Daddy, papi please..." John was reaching for them suddenly, needing them close. Lafayette and Alex exchanged a knowing look and instantly got out of the bath. They delicately dried John off and kissed his exposed skin. Lafayette scooped him up and laid him down softly on the bed.

"We're here, mon couer. What do you need?" John looked at them wth adoration in his eyes.

"You and papi. I need you." Lafayette smiled softly and started kissing down John's chest. Alex captured his lips in a kiss and licked into his mouth. John brought his arms up around Alex's neck and pulled him closer, craving more. He moaned into Alex's mouth as Lafayette mouthed at his semi-hard cock. Lafayette made his way down and blew a light stream of air over his hole. John bucked his hips lightly and Lafayette was quick to hold him down.

"No, baby boy. Let me set the pace." John whined high and long into Alex's mouth. He tugged at Alex to straddle his chest, wanting him to be as close as possible. Alex obliged as climbed on top of him and continued to kiss him as if his life depended on it. Lafayette licked John's hole broadly, which made him squirm unrelentingly. His moans were swallowed by Alex's who had his hands wrapped in John's. Lafayette continued licking at his hole, loosening him enough to slip his tongue in and out enthusiastically.

John broke the kiss off with Alex to cry out and throw his head back into the pillows. Alex sucked at his neck and kissed up behind his ear.

"You're so beautiful baby boy, falling apart in Lafayette's tongue. You're sweet to kiss too, letting me swallow all your precious noises. Jesus, John, you're just so beautiful." Alex had moved off John's body to kiss down his abs appreciably, biting gently at his flesh. John groaned as Lafayette reached for the lube and lathered his fingers.

"Daddy, please please please" John was begging now, canting his hips unwillingly. His cock was arched beautifully to his stomach and dripped precum continuously.

"Please what, little one, what do you want?" Lafayette circled one finger around his hole pushing lightly but now hard enough to go in.

"Stop pleasing daddy! Please just I need you and papi, I need it." Lafayette smiled and kissed John's stomach as he pushed in a finger. Alex groaned and palmed at his own cock as John whined out and arches his back.

"Do not even think about it, Alex." Lafayette admonished quietly. Alex whimpered lightly and took his hand away and resigned it on John's own achingly hard cock. He teasingly stroked it as Lafayette added a third finger and stretched him open. John's small noises were slowly driving him mad and he pulled his fingers out and lathered himself then lined himself with John's hole. John was torn between pushing up to get more pressure from Alex's teasing pace or pushing down to usher Lafayette in. His choice was made for him as Lafayette grabbed his hips and pinned them down. His pushed in slowly, making sure John felt every inch. Felt loved. Felt claimed.

He murmured words of love into John's skin as he set a slow pace, a light roll of his hips. John grabbed at Alex and pulled him in for a deep kiss as Lafayette continued to roll into him slowly.

"You feel so good little one, you are so good for daddy and papi." John whimpered beneath him and arched his back. He hadn't noticed Alex stretching himself as Lafayette thrust into him slowly, so he was extremely surprised when Alex lubed up Johns cock and lowered himself down onto it in one swift motion. John cried out in please as Alex clenched around him and moaned wantonly. John could only watch as Lafayette mouthed at Alex's neck while still thrusting into him, driving him slowly mad. Alex's was riding him at the same pace and letting his hands roam John's body freely. The noises Alex made as he rode him drove him silently insane, filling him with love and compassion.

Tears pricked at John's eyes as he gazed at the two men he loved, at how beautiful they were. Alex was soft and beautiful, his full lips hanging own perfectly as he let out even more perfect sounds. Lafayette was solid against him, reassuring, home. His face was blissed out and it made John groan loudly.

He felt his organs boiling deep in his gut, curling at the body of his spine. Every vein in his body was screaming for release.

"Daddy, papi I-I'm gonna- please." Alex leaned forward as Lafayette started thrusting into John harder and mouthed at his neck. John wrapped his arms around his back which was slick with sweat and clung on as tight as possible.

"Come for us, little one. You're so beautiful when you fall apart." With that, John came harder than ever to event memory. He felt it course through his entire body. It was only intensified as his organs caused Lafayette and Alex to follow suit quickly, Lafayette warmth driving him mad and Alex's clenching home driving him to the brink of over stimulation.

The three panted against each other as they came down from their highs. He kissed both of them lazily and mumbled how much he loved them. Lafayette stood up and came back quickly with a warm cloth to wipe them off before climbing into the bed and spooning John from behind. Alex curled up to his front and hugged them both tightly.

"I love you so much John, more than you'll ever know." Alex pressed soft kisses to John's head as he nodded off slowly.

"I too love you little one, more than my heart can take at times." John smiled slightly as Lafayette combed his fingers into his hair softly.

"I love you all too, more than anything." They fell asleep clinging to each other lovingly, no one daring to let go. They needed to be together, they needed to be close. Nothing ever felt like enough. But when it really came down to it, they were enough to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I ended this with shitty smut!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go suit shopping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't posted in so long. Work has had me on crazy hours and there was a car wreck and I just... I'm sorry! I''mm back with a mostly fluffy chapter to make me feel better.

John woke up and sat up in the bed, feeling as if he had been hit by a truck. The edges of his brain were fuzzy and unclear, not giving a clear depiction of what happened yesterday. This means he possible could have been hit by a truck... he looked down at his naked body and hastily checked for truck sized marks and found none. He breathed a sigh of relief and thought back on yesterday.

Walking into the house with Lafayette and Alex. Father being angry. Then a blur of words and pain. What had he said? He thought hard and attempted to rub the beginnings of a headache away. He slowly recalled what was said and blew out a deep breath. _Your mother would hate you._ John groaned internally as he realized that he felt as if he'd been hit by a truck because of a panic attack. He'd never had one before, only heard of them because of Alex's experience with them. He couldn't remember what was said after his father told him his mother would hate him for who he is, all he remembers is tears and arms wrapped around him.

John reached for his phone on the bedside table but instead felt his hand land on somebodies back. His heart kept into his throat in a panic until he realized this random back belonged to Lafayette. Then it slowly occurred to him that this was not his room, and that there were intact two bodies next to him breathing in and out slowly. He had forgotten momentarily that his boyfriends had come to his rescue yesterday. He's missed being around them, Lafayette controlling everything and making him feel safe. Alex providing wonderful mischief to get them both into trouble, but the fun kind.

He looked down at Alex who mumbled in his sleep and wiped at his face. Lafayette had wrapped his arms around John's waist and tucked his head into his hip unconsciously. John huffed out a small laugh and patted Lafayette's hair. This must have roused him from his sleep because he groaned and rolled over.

"John Laurens I have been back with you one day and you are already waking me up way too early. " John laughed and pushed Lafayette over to lay on his back.

"Don't be so dramatic Laf, you're fine." Lafayette shot him a sassy look before poking Alex in the face. He poked him until Alex began opening his eyes and smacking his hand away in annoyance.

"Leave me the fuck alone Laf, I'm tired." Johns eyebrows shot up in surprise at Alex's tone and wiggled away so he wasn't in between their bickering. He mentally decided to let them hash this out on their own.

"Watch your tone, mon âme. You will not like the consequences" Alex cracked his eyes open into slits and huffed, then promptly rolled into John's lap and buried his face in his stomach.

"Jooooooohn, make him leave me alone." John patted Alex's hair and played with it softly.

"You have to get up, and he's also right about watching your tone. So there really isn't any reason for him to leave you alone." Alex bit John's toned stomach and he yelped in pain before yanking Alex's head up by his hair. Alex let out a giggle and stuck his tongue out.

"You're a little brat!" John yanked Alex's hair a little harder and he let out a yelp of surprise and then grabbed for John's nipples. John hated having his nipples twisted more than anything and Alex knew this. As Alex and John wrestled on the bed, Alex grabbing for John's nipples attempting to twist them and John reaching for his wrist to hold him down, Lafayette just watched with an amused face.

"You two are both very bad." John giggled as he finally wrestled Alex down, his wrist pinned above his head and John's full weight holding him down. He trashed unsuccessfully, trying to buck John off.

"It's not gonna happen princess, give it up." John teased him and then licked a wet stripe up the side of Alex's face. Alex shrieked in disgust and let out a whimper.

"Lafayette! Please help me, he's a monster!" Alex trashed again, trying to break free and to find a way to wipe off his now sticky face.

"This I can do." Lafayette giggled and then began tickling John. As John let go of Alex, he launched forward to tackle him but was pinned back down by Lafayette as he also pinned John down. Alex and John looked at each other and then back up at Lafayette who was smiling triumphantly.

"Ah, how much I have missed having you both with me." Lafayette bent down and caught Alex in a tender kiss, still holding his wrist down with one of his large hands. He turned to kiss John and bit his lip softly, making John groan. He pulled back and admired his flustered boys and nodded approvingly before hopping off the bed.

John and Alex locked mischievous eyes and began making out, hands wondering at a lazy pace. Lafayette was quick to pull them apart and tsk.

"Behave." John nodded is head and easily submitted to Lafayette, but Alex just rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out. Lafayette decided to let him off easily and climbed off the bed once more to call up breakfast for the three of them. After he ordered breakfast, he turned around and instantly let out a low growl. Alex was kissing down John's neck who was whispering "no, don't wanna get in trouble" but making no move to stop him. Alex groped John's crotch teasingly and he let out a high pitched whine. Lafayette watched them with a dark look in his eyes, but didn't say anything to stop them. How could he when his boys were so beautiful when they played?

"Boys, I hate to interrupt, but we do have things to do today besides playing." John opened his mouth to reply but Alex took it as an opportunity to swallow him whole and all that came out was a gasp. Lafayette chuckled darkly and yanked Alex off John's cock by his hair.

"Whaaaat?" Alex whined petulantly as he thrashed to get Lafayette to let go.

"Did you not hear me? I said we have things to do besides play. We have to get suits for tomorrow so we're going to the shop. Behave." Alex shoved Lafayette's hand off and sat back with his arms crossed, his face set in a pout.

"This is stupid. You're just gonna leave John all flustered like this?" Lafayette looked over at John who was laying on the bed flustered and frustrated.

"I think not. You both could wear a plug, yes?" John groaned and rolled over to indicate he did not agree with this. Lafayette just chucked and rolled him into his stomach and began prepping John after applying lube to his fingers. He settled for a quick thorough prep instead of an arousing one, purposely missing his prostate. Alex was transfixed on the way John was squirms under Lafayette's ministrations and let out a small whimper.

"Alex, get two plugs out of my bag. There is a matching set in my side pocket." Alex nodded his head quickly and ran to Lafayette bag then back to the bed. "Thank you, now prep yourself." Alex grabbed the lube and prepped himself as Lafayette pushed in John's plug before turning around and pushing in Alex's.

"This sucks." John buried his head in the covers and let out a low groan.

"Awh but you two are so cute with matching plugs! Now get dressed, we have places to be."

\--

"Laf, I'm uncomfortable." Lafayette shrugged his shoulders and continued sifting through the suits. Alex nudged him again and whined in the back of his throat until Lafayette turned around and crossed his arms.

"Alex, stop whining and behave. The more you complain now, the worse it will be for you when we get back home." Alex sighed and laid his head on John's shoulder. John giggled at Alex's pouting and poked him in the side.

"I told you so." Alex huffed and pushed John away, making him stumble into a rack of suit jackets. John smacked Alex upside the head and crossed his arms in a pout.

"Perfect, now you are both pouty. That will make dressing you easy." Alex rolled his eyes at Lafayette sarcasm and began looking through the suits alongside him. Eventually Lafayette pulled one out and made a noise of approval. He turned to John and thrusted the suit towards him. John looked at the suit and back at Lafayette.

"I don't know if this is my color." Alex shrugged his shoulders and Lafayette scoffed.

"Do not be absurd! Gray is a beautiful color on you, so go try it on." John shrugged his shoulders and sighed dramatically before stepping into the dressing room. Lafayette continued searching for a suit for Alex and nearly jumped out of his skin when John came out of the dressing room and slammed the door.

John stood there looking unsure and awkward. He shrugged his shoulders and raised his eye brows expectantly. The only response he got was Lafayette staring at him hungrily and Alex shifting his pants uncomfortably while ogling John longingly.

"Guys stoooooop, I need answers. Not just you staring." Lafayette shook his head to mentally shake himself and approached John.

"You look marvelous little one, it's perfect." John blushed and looked away to Alex. Alex nodded his head enthusiastically and placed his hands on John's hips.

"Yes you look very, very good." Alex's voice came out raspy and it sent chills down John's spine. Alex pressed his body up against John's and pulled him closer by his hips. John squirmed when Alex began kissing his neck and biting it lightly, but possessively. He pushed down on John's plug, causing it to brush his prostate. John gasped and but down on his lip harshly. Lafayette chucked deep in the back of his throat and placed a hand on the back of Alex's neck and pulled him off.

"Not the time and place, mon amour." Alex let go of John reluctantly but didn't stop staring. John blushed again and rushed back into the dressing room. He stared into the mirror and scrutinized himself. It was a fitted suit, simple but nice looking. Hugged him in all the right spots and showed off his assets nicely, but didn't make him look absurd. John changed into his regular clothes quickly and stepped back out of the fitting room.

Lafayette was holding up a suit to Alex's frame and testing the arm length before handing it to Alex and pushing him towards the dressing room. Alex winked at John before closing the door and beginning to change.

"Little one, I have to go pee. Do not let him take that suit off until I get back." John nodded his head curtly and turned his attention back to the dressing room. Alex emerged moments later, looking sheepish as he stepped around the dressing room door. John smiled and cooed silently when Alex blushed.

"Baby girl, you look beautiful." Alex smiled and kissed John soundly on the lips.

"Where's Laf? He's the one who made us come here and he's not even here to see my big reveal!" John shrugged his shoulders and adjusted Alex's suit, fixing the collar.

"He's going to the bathroom, and he said to leave the suit on until he gets back." Alex rolled his eyes and went to step in the dressing room and John slipped in front of him. Alex raised his eyebrows and went to push John aside, but that was never gonna happen.

"Move over darlin, I'm gonna change." John shook his head and smirked.

"Lafayette said you have to keep it on, so that's what you're doing. He should be back soon unless he's caught up talking to someone." Alex sighed and went to walk by John again, but John giggled and pushed John back lightly. Alex kept struggling to get into the dressing room but finally gave up after John grabbed the back of his suit jacket and yanked it over his head efficiently trapping him.

"John let me go, you are the meanest person I know!" John just kept giggling and held Alex trapped. He only let go when Lafayette walked up slowly with his eye brows raised high.

"I swear, you boys will be the death of us all." Alex glared at John as he fixed his suit and turned back to Lafayette slowly. Lafayette smiled and kissed Alex on the forehead. "You look beautiful mon âme, it is perfect. Black is a perfect color for you." Alex smiled and laid is head on Lafayette's chest. Lafayette ran his fingers through his hair slowly and he relaxed into it before shooting a smirk at John. John shot Alex a glare before walking over and wrapping his arms around them both.

"I'm hungry." Alex was barely audible against Lafayette's chest and John giggled at how childish Alex sounded.

"Go change and we will grab lunch, yes?" John looked Lafayette up and down and gave him a confused look.

"Don't you need a suit to?" Lafayette laughed soundly and patted John's cheek affectionately. Alex disappeared into the dressing room and changed quickly.

"I already have one, what do you think I was doing up front? Now let us purchase your suits and we will be out of here." Alex protested weekly and pulled on Lafayette's shirt until he turned around and looked down at him. Lafayette gave him a look asking him what's wrong and Alex sighed.

"I can't afford this suit Laf." Lafayette kissed and on the forehead and sighed.

"I am paying for the all, there is no need for you to worry." Alex went to protest, but decided against it quickly and handed his suit to Lafayette. He purchased them quickly and they exited the shop hand in hand, ignoring the disgusted looks from the homophobes walking next to them. John tucked himself under Lafayette's arm and walked as close to him as possible. Lafayette kissed his head and smiled.

"I know this really good sandwich shop just around the corner! I used to go there all the time when I was a kid, can we go now please." Alex grabbed John's hand behind Lafayette's back and smiled. He loved when John acted like an excited kid, it was one of the things that made him fall for John so hard.

"Of course, mon couer." John smiled as he led them down the street and into the shop. He stopped stock still when he was who was behind the counter, and he could feel the edges of his mind escaping into panic. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here comes more angst!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update, I know I'm a piece of shit! This is just a pure set up into some porn and then back to the main plot (-:

John turned around to run back out the door but instead ran face first into Lafayette's chest. He looked down at him and raised one eye brow in a 'what the fuck are you doing' expression. John pushed at him again to move him but Lafayette out a finger on John's shoulder to stop him and looked down at him.

"What are you doing, mon couer? I though this is the place you wanted to eat." John screamed silently in his head and he glanced back at the guy behind the counter who hadn't noticed them yet.

"I changed my mind. Can we go?" Alex cocked his head to the side and gave John a once over, taking in his flushed cheeks and wobbly knees. He smirks a little and snakes his head with finality.

"I don't want to go, this place looks good. What's the matter?" John sighed and ran a hand through his hair hastily. He knows what Alex is doing, always fucking teasing him. Always knows when he's embarrassed and never passes up on the opportunity to make it worse before he decides to fix it.

"That guy behind the counter, Charles, is my first boyfriend and things did not end well. I don't want to talk to him just let me go please." Alex chuckled a little and tucked John into his arms.

"Don't worry baby boy, it'll be alright. If he tried anything Lafayette has you right?" Lafayette placed a hand on John's shoulder and shook his head happily. He caught drift of Alex's game and have a sly smile of his own and kissed John's hair.

"Of course I do, I always do." John sighed and broke free from Alex's arms. Guess he can't run away this time. He cursed his boyfriends in his head profusely as he walks to the counter. Alex and Lafayette don't follow him, they just pretend to view the specials menu and watch John discretely.

As John walks up to the counter, memories of sneaking out with quiet giggling and forbidden kissing floods his mind as he looks at Charles again. He only feels disdain and nothing else at the memories, which he assumes is too. He looks the same, but John knows that looks are deceiving. He knows what's behind those false kind eyes.

When Charles finally notices John, his eyes widen a little and his mouth drops open. John sees Charles hand twitch uncomfortable, tucks it away in his mind. John flinches on instinct, and coughs to cover it up. Charles clears his throat and leans on the counter.

"Well shit. When did you get in town John Laurens?" John looked over at Lafayette and Alex discreetly before answering him. They were giggling quietly to themselves and he cursed them again.

"A few days ago. Father asked me to come to see my aunt and now I'm staying for her funeral. So." Charles face drops a little and he shifts awkwardly.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Elouise was a real good lady." John nods his head in silent agreement and purses his lips.

"So," he stretches the syllable out like puddy as he desperately tries to think of something else to say, "how are things with you here?" Charles shrugs his shoulders and looks John up and down, almost hungrily. John resists the urge to scoff and prays Lafayette didn't see the blatant gesture. He gets very jealous.

"Oh you know, finishing up at the medical college here, working at this sandwich shop to keep myself alive. Same old same old. How have you been, Jacky? You been seeing anyone?" John looks again over to Lafayette and Alex who are still watching his discretely but now with more interest.

"Yes I have. Have you?" Charles shrugs his shoulders and smirks a little.

"Some tail here and there, nothing serious. Listen, if your man isn't in town maybe we can hook up again like old times? How does that sound? You're still looking fine as he-" Charles is cut off by Alex and Lafayette walking up suddenly and placing themselves on either side of John. Charles eyes the trio suspiciously and looks to John for an explanation. He coughs into his fist, trying to hide his blush.

"These are my boyfriends, Lafayette and Alex." Charles nods his head slowly. Lafayette snakes a protective arm around John and yanks him into his side. John can feel how tense he is and rubs his back reassuringly. Lafayette looks down at him with an unreadable look and sighs.

"Lafayette." He says smoothly, charming as always. Lafayette offers his hand over the counter to Charles with a smile and Charles shakes it warily. Alex doesn't say a word, just eyes him with a strange look. Alex has never appreciated people who cheated or encouraged it, so John places a hand on his waist and tugs him a little closer. Alex kisses his temple briskly and relaxes a little.

"O-Kay! Well would y'all like to order something or what?" John doesn't appreciate how rude Charles is being, but decides to ignore it. Charles Lee is an ass hole and John knows this. He knows this so he lets it go.

Alex goes to say something and John knows it's going to be sassy and rude so he speaks before Alex has the chance to.

"Yes! I would like the roasted chicken and a coke, please. Alex?" John looks at him with a glint in his eyes, and Alex rolls his in return. This is to signify that yes he will play nice, and no he will not be happy about it. Lafayette looks to Alex expectantly with a look of his own.

"I just want a zucchini melt, please." Alex tacked on the 'please' angrily. John sighed in relief and walked them to a table quickly after Lafayette had placed his order. He sat down between Alex and Lafayette, feeling safe between them.

He sat them down in a booth and took in the place. A lot had changed since he'd last been here, and he can't decide if it's good or bad. It's more modernized, red chairs placed at glossy wooden tables. Weird art hung up on the freshly greyish painted walls instead of the warm green they used to be. The weird fake plants they had placed around the little shop. John was pulled out of his mind when Lafayette waved a hand in front of his face.

"Where did you go, little one? Alex is riled up like an angry cat and I can not calm him down myself." John laughed as he took in Alex's appearance, all riled up and his posture tense.

"This is your fault Alex, you were the one who sent me to talk to him on my own." Alex gave John a sharp look.

"That fucker-"

"Language, Alexander! This is a family place!" Alex shot Lafayette a look, which he knows he will regret later, and kept talking almost aggressively.

"He just! You can't just ask someone to cheat after they say they have someone they are seeing that is just unacceptable! Who does he think he is, some kind of some country god who can just fuck whoever he wants that walks into this fucking place. Like you have to be shitting me!" Lafayette grabbed Alex by his low pony tail and yanked, a small warning. John snickered and tucked himself closer to himself at the looks he revived from them both.

"I will not say it again, mon âme. Watch your mouth and your tone." Alex huffed and crossed his arms. John looked over at Alex with puppy dog eyes and scooted closer to him. Alex looked away from him and scooted away, and John let out a small whine. He scooted closer to Alex and pressed his cheek into his shoulder and stuck out his bottom lip.

"Alex, why don't you love meeeee." Alex turned to look at John and let his shoulders relax in defeat.

"I do love you John. I just don't appreciate the way some people talk to you, it isn't right." John smiled indulgently and nuzzled into Alex's neck. He placed his hand on Alex's thigh- a little too far up to be family friendly- and gave it a light squeeze. Alex sucked in a sharp breath and looked down at John.

"Don't worry, I don't want anyone but you guys. He's trash anyway, nothing compared to you two." John slid his hand up quickly to graze Alex's crotch and giggled as Alex's face flushed. Lafayette eyed then with a sly smile and placed a hand on the back of John's neck.

"Little one, behave yourself please." John giggled again, and he felt dangerous. He wanted to do something that he knows will get him into trouble. So he did. Instead of grazing over it, he fully grabbed Alex crotch and squeezed it in a way he knows would drive Alex crazy. Alex yelled in surprise and grabbed John by the wrist, giving him a testy look.

Lafayette grabbed John's arm and pulled him closer to him, bringing his lips closer to his ear. He went to say something but John wiggled away and grabbed Lafayette in the same way he did Alex and giggled again at the look Lafayette and Alex shared. Lafayette and Alex nodded at each other and then turned dark eyes to John, who was smiling satisfactorily to himself and he nuzzled Alex's shoulder.

Lafayette grabbed John's wrist and yanked him to the bathroom. He closed the door behind them and shoved John up against it. John let out a pathetic jumper as he was caged in with Lafayette's arms, and his wrist were pinned above his head. John wiggled, trying to squirm free from Lafayette's grasp, grunting with the effort. He knew it was futile, but Lafayette loved a fight. Lafayette pressed his hips against John's torso to hold him down.

"Little one, you disobeyed direct disorders from me, and that is a problem. You were told to behave, and you did not." Lafayette slid his hand down John's back and down to his butt and pushed lightly on the plug. John's head dropped back against the door as it brushed his prostate and sent a wave of pleasure through his whole body. Lafayette kissed him breathless and until his head was spinning. He knows it's ridiculous to be this turned on in a public bathroom but he just need to be fucked and he wants it desperately.

"Daddy please please _please_ fuck me!" Lafayette laughed darkly and shook his head. He bit John's neck, almost hard enough to leave a mark, and squeezed his wrist a little tighter. John's mind was whirling now and it's driving him slowly insane.

"No, little boys who misbehave don't get fucked, do they?" John worried his lip between his teeth and shook his head in defeat. Lafayette grabbed John by the crotch and massaged it through his pants and placed kisses down his neck. Every move he made was meticulously controlled as always and it turned on John much more than it should. John let out a needy whine and tried to thrust into Lafayette's hand, but he quickly pinned him down.

"Do you know what they do get, little one?" John looked up to Lafayette with blown pupils and let out a breathy whine.

"Punished." The word was said in a whisper and Lafayette smiled condescendingly.

"That's right." Lafayette pulled a cock ring out of his back pocket and John whined unhappily.

"But daddy!" Lafayette shut John's protest up with one look as he began to undo John's pants and pull out his half-hard cock. He stroked him to full hardness and then slipped the ring on him and tucked him back into his pants and zipped him up.

"Go back to the table, little one. Alex is waiting." John shuffled out of the bathroom and didn't meet anyone's eyes. He slid back into the booth next to Alex. He looked at him and Alex gave him a knowing smirk and winked at Lafayette as he slid into the booth next to John.

Charles dropping their food off was awkward. He knows Charles could see the flush in his face, and that it was no longer from embarrassment, but John decides doesn't care. Fuck Charles. So John giggled when he just placed the food down as calmly as he could and rushed away despite his current predicament. Since when did Lafayette start carrying cock rings in his pocket?

The entire meal was torture. Lafayette and Alex teased him unmercifully, bringing him to the edge from beneath the table and the growling further punishment into his ear if he came in his pants. It was really hard not to when Alex and Lafayette would lean across him to kiss while they groped him under the table, or they fed him bites of their food or kissed and bit at his neck. And John knows he looks ridiculous right now, impossibly hard with a blush that could only mean one thing. But he did bring it upon himself so it's no ones fault but his own.

Alex was in the middle of behind the ears playfully when his phone rang and nearly made him jump out of his skin. He fumbled with it for a few seconds because of his shaky hands while Lafayette and Alex laughed at him.

"Hey Marty, what's up?" Johns greeting came out a breathy whisper, and he cursed the two men at his side under his breath. He frowned when he heard the exasperated sigh come from Martha.

"Father wants you to come over to dinner tonight and he wants you to bring Alex and Lafayette. He also wants all three of you to stay there so we can go to the funeral together." John sighed and ran a frustrated hand down his face.

"Fine. I'll talk to Lafayette and Alex about that second thing to make sure they're okay with it, but we will be there for dinner. I'll see you later Marty, I love you." John hung up the phone and shoved it back into his pocket.

"What are you gonna talk to us about?" Alex talked around a mouthful of food which really grossed John out and he thought about saying something, but just shook his head instead and sighed.

"What's the matter little one?" Lafayette nuzzled into John's hair and laid his arm around his shoulder possessively, glancing at Charles who was still watching him from the counter.

"Father wants us to come over for dinner tonight and then stay so we can arrive at the funeral all together." Lafayette and Alex shared a look over John before looking back to him.

"We're fine with it as long as you are Jacky. Are you sure you wanna stay?" John worried his lip between his teeth for a few seconds before sighing again and dropping his head against Lafayette's shoulder.

"I guess it couldn't hurt." Alex kissed John soundly on the cheek and shared a look with Lafayette.

"Well if we are not staying alone tonight then I guess we need to take care of you now." John shot Lafayette a look of confusion before remembering his hard on. He blushed again and let out a little giggle. Lafayette and Alex wasted no time throwing more money than necessary down on the table and dragging John out of the building and towards their hotel.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pooooorrnnnn then back to plot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little longer than usual, and they may be for the next few chapters. Thank you again for reading!

John was hopeful by the way that Lafayette was gripping his hip gently meant maybe his punishment wouldn't be so bad, but all hopes of that were washed away when their hotel door closed and Alex shoved John up against the door. John gasped in surprise as Alex pressed his thigh into John's erection and growled into his neck like an animal.

"Do you think it is okay to tease me in public, John? That you can just get away with it without punishment?" John whined high and needy, and flicked his eyes over to Lafayette. He hoped he would jump in or tell Alex to let him go, instead he had his hip cocked out and arms crossed with a smug smile.

"Do not think I am going to help you, little one. You disobeyed directly, and you already told me what bad boys get." Lafayette calling John bad burned his skin, made an unholy desire to please his boys churn deep in the pit of his stomach. John nodded gravely and turned his gaze back to Alex. He started kissing at his neck hungrily before Lafayette picked John up and dropped him on the bed as if he were no lighter than a feather.

"You're such a little slut John, rubbing up on us in public and then giggling about it. Palming yourself underneath the table and fucking yourself on that plug." John groaned and arched his back obscenely, his cock still painfully hard from the ring and now aching. Alex's insults were like a slap on the face and John fucking loves it, loves the way he feels embarrassed and taken down a leg. He craves it.

Lafayette chuckles deep in his throat and turns dark eyes on John before slowly walking over to him and leaning in close to his ear. He licks a stripe up John's neck then bites down hard, sure to leave a mark. John lets out a low groan and cants his hips, silently begging for more.

"So responsive for me little one, so beautiful." The praise made John's skin flush a bright shade of pink and Alex laughed almost cruelly.

"Yes, a beautiful little slut." Alex began tugging John's clothes off and throwing them onto the floor. Lafayette and Alex stepped back and took a few moments to admire John's chiseled body, the way his chest heaved and his cock leaking against his stomach. Alex had to admit he truly was beautiful, but now is not the time to play nice.

Lafayette advanced on John as if he were his prey and he was stalking him. Lafayette began to remove his own clothes slowly and positioned himself over top of John. Alex smiled and removed his clothes too, throwing them off somewhere in the room before placing himself next to John. Lafayette and Alex shared a smirk and then went to work on John. Alex attacked his neck, biting and sucking in ways John knew he would never be able to cover up and he loved it. He loves being marked, loves being owned.

Lafayette attacked John's lips and swallowed every delicious sound that was emitted. Lafayette grabbed John's cock lightly, hard enough to make his presence known but not enough to provide john any relief. This prompted John to whine aloud and fight lightly against Lafayette hold but was quickly halted when Alex yanked his hair and tilted his head back.

"Don't forget your place, baby girl." John squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, the need to make Alex and Lafayette proud came flooding back with a vengeance. After only god knows how long, Alex flipped John over and started trying his hands behind his back. When did Alex find time to grab rope? Since when did they have rope here? John's thought we're cut short by the light slap to his ass that made him moan wantonly.

"Keep yourself quiet little one, or you will be gagged." John nodded his head rapidly and bit the bed sheets. He nearly screamed when Alex started pushing his plug farther, slowly fucking him with it. The pace was agonizingly slow and the plug provided no kind of relief, at least not the kind John craved. He wants to be destroyed, and he wants it now. Lafayette was stroking John's hair softly, but not in a comforting way. It almost felt like a threat as to what would come.

Alex pulls the plug out until the widest part is left in his hole and John hissed through his teeth at the burn of it. Alex laughed a pretty laugh and pulled the plug all the way out and dropped it on the bedside table.

"Laf, could you...?" He waved a hand at his own predicament with pleading eyes. Lafayette smiled warmly and nodded his head as he slowly worked out Alex's plug and sat it next to John's. They shared a warm, sensual kiss over John and he whined high in his throat because he hates being ignored more than anything. They know he hates being ignored and that's what makes it so much better.

Alex slowly climbed over John and straddled Lafayette's lap, grinding down on him obscenely and moaned wantonly into Lafayette's mouth. Jealousy surged through John like a fire and he let out another pathetic whine. Lafayette broke the kiss and turned his head to John with a knowing smirk.

"What's the matter? Don't like being ignored, little one?" John dropped his face into the covers and groaned as he rutted pathetically against the sheets. Lafayette tutted and yanked his head back up by his hair. He gave John a dirty look before rolling him over and giving an approving nod. He drank in the sight of John, frustrated and squirming on the bed. He truly is a sight to behold, and Lafayette is glad that John is his. His to cause this much sexual frustration, that John belongs to him and he is his and Alex's toy to tease and torment with pleasure.

"What's wrong baby girl, you jealous? Jealous Lafayette is gonna fuck me and all you can do is watch?" John let out a frustrated breath and squeezed his eyes shut. He wants to play, dammit, and being left out just isn't fair. John thinks this is the worst punishment they could bestow upon him, tied up and helpless with nothing to do but watch and listen. Listen to the pretty noises Alex makes whenever Lafayette takes him roughly and not be allowed to touch himself. It's torture.

"Open your eyes little one, or you will not like the results. So not disobey me again or you will not be coming at all." John's eyes snapped open at this and he started straight at Lafayette and Alex. He can make them proud. He's going to make them proud if it's the death of him.

Alex winked at John before turning back to the task at hand and worked his lips slowly down Lafayette's neck, biting at his clavicle and sucking hard. Lafayette changed their positions by pushing Alex back onto the bed and pinning him down, eliciting a sweet baritone groan straight from Alex's chest. John whined high in the back of his throat from the displayed and wiggled desperately.

Lafayette ignored John and continued his ministrations on Alex, biting his way down his perfect body until he reached his cock. Alex was so hard it was almost purple and leaked with precome continuously. Alex yelled when Lafayette took on the tip into his mouth and sucked lightly and swirled his tongue around it before making his way down farther and hiked Alex's legs up onto his shoulders.

Alex gasped and knotted the bed sheets in his hands and turned to look John in the eyes and let out the most seductive moan he could manage when Lafayette licked at his hole. John arched his back as his breaths became labored, his cock throbbing with pleasure and pin at being untouched and endlessly teased. Alex continued to stare at John with unrestrained moans of pleasure, occasionally slipping his eyes closed when Lafayette found the spot inside him that made him howl, but always finding John's eyes when he pried them open again. Eventually, Lafayette added fingers next to his tongue and worked Alex open properly, hitting his prostate over and over again, making Alex beg

"Laf just fuck me please, I need it so badly please just fuck me!" Lafayette smirked at John before lining up and teasing him with his tip.

Alex tried to push against Lafayette and force him in, but he grabbed Alex by the waist and held him down tighter and looked over to John. His whole body was flushed a crimson red and his eyes were flooded with unshed tears of frustration. John was always so pretty when he cried, and Lafayette loves it.

"Color, little one?" John let out a pathetic whimper and squirmed against his restraints a little. He had to force the words to come out of his mouth, his mind hazed by arousal.

"Green daddy, please untie me?" Lafayette tsked John as if he were a child and shook his head with finality.

"If you can behave while I fuck Alex, I will let him fuck you. Understood?" John nodded his head rigorously and set out to please his daddy the best he could. Behave and he gets his papi's cock. Easy. He's been challenged with worse.

Lafayette turned back to Alex who was still struggling on the bed, begging Lafayette inna hushed voice to just 'please fuck me already laf, please please please'. Lafayette let a satisfied grin settle on his face, admiring the way he had control over both of his boys as always. He pushed into Alex slowly and groaned the further he was accepted into the tight warmth of Alex.

Alex's legs flew up to wrap around Lafayette's waist almost instantly, urging him for more. Lafayette simply held Alex's wrist down harder and set his own pace. It was slow and deep at first, rolling his hips in a rhythm that he knew would drive both Alex and John mad. He eventually begun to sped up, thrusting into Alex harder and more sporadically as he chased his own release. He moaned openly, knew John had a thing for it and that it would drive him up the walls with pleasure. He glanced over at John, whose freckles had almost disappeared completely with the way he was flushed over his whole body.

Alex reached down to stroke his own cock, but Lafayette growled and slapped his hand away and slammed into him harder and faster.

"Do not even think about it. You have to save it for our little one, yes?" Alex groaned and dug his teeth into his bottom lip almost hard enough to draw blood. Lafayette dug his head into the crook of Alex's neck and it down hard as he felt his orgasm on the brink. Alex felt Lafayette fill him up and groaned when he finally pulled out, still panting against his neck and rubbing his hair lovingly.

John, surprising, remained silent. He was screaming in his own mind, begging to be touched. His wish finally came true when Lafayette grabbed a hole of his cock and lightly ran his hand down it a few times. He held back his whimpers, willing himself to be good.

"Look at you baby girl, so good for your daddy and me. Beautiful." Alex kissed John's hair and worked his way down his body slowly until John was breathing harsh breaths out of his nose. He is more turned on than he ever thought possible in this moment and he wants to scream, but remains still and silent.

"You may make noises now, little one. I want to hear you." John threw his head back against the pillows at this and let out a low, feral groan and Alex's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. The look of surprised was quickly replaced by unabashed arousal and Alex went to work quick on opening John up. He lived up his fingers and pressed two into John, instantly locating his prostate. John practically screamed with pleasure as asked continued to stoke his prostate relentlessly.

"Be kind Alex, he has waited long enough no?" Alex pouted a little but obeyed Lafayette nonetheless. As much as he loved to tease John and make him howl, disobeying was not a price he is willing to pay for such a thing. Maybe another time.

"What's your color baby girl, you okay?" John let out another strangled sob and arched his back obscenely.

"Papi i'm green, please please please just fuck me oh god please." Lafayette chuckled and turned dark eyes to Alex, who was staring at John with mirth in his eyes. John begging is always a treat.

"Watch your mouth, little one." John clamped his teeth shut soundly and looked at Lafayette with pleading eyes. Lafayette shook his head to Alex, and he finally pushed in. John actually screamed this time, the feeling of being filled finally after so long completely over whelming. Tears sprung to his eyes instantly and Lafayette was quick to cover John's mouth with his own and swallow his delicious moans of pure bliss.

"Fuck, baby girl you feel good!" Alex leaned down And began sucking on John's chest, marking him up like a piece of art. He continued thrusting into John, aiming for his prostate with every thrust. He could see John's muscles quiver underneath his skin, the way his abs were pulled taught. John is a treat. Alex reached down and touched John's cock, stroking his thumb over the slit relentlessly. John was torn between thrusting down onto Alex's cock or up into his hand. The cock ring held off any thoughts of orgasms for John and he silently screamed in his head.

"Daddy please take this cock ring off me please I've been so good for you!" John was begging into Lafayette's mouth and he was desperate. Lafayette rolled the cock ring off John's cock and began stroking him off into the times of Alex's thrust. His thrust became more and more uneven as he chased his release and he dropped his head into John's shoulder and moaned loud in his ear, biting his earlobe softly.

"Daddy, I'm gonna come! Please please!" Lafayette smiled and dropped his voice low and whispered into John's ear.

"Come for me." With that, John released and came with a shout. He covered his and Alex's chest in his own seed and drew out Alex's orgasm as well as his hole spasmed around him.

"Holy fuck, that was amazing." Alex rolled of John and then untied John's wrist and kissed them gently. He kissed up both of John's arms until he met his lips and kissed him long and slow while letting his hair. Lafayette got up to retrieve a wash rag and wiped the three of them off before they collapsed into a panting mess together. Lafayette tugged them closer to him, his arms wrapped around both of his boys happy and sated. Alex turned to John and laid his lips against his temple and kissed it lightly before saying-

"What time do we have to be at dinner?" John dropped his head against Alex's shoulder and groaned. He had completely forgotten about that. Fuck.

\----

John glanced at Alex over his shoulder and shot him a slight glare.

"Stop being so jumpy Alex, it's weird. You're making me nervous so just sit still. Please?" Alex sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth and huffed a deep breath out of his nose.

"Well, John, I am nervous so I'm jumpy and fidgety. That's just the way I am so don't try to change me." John shot Alex another look and pushed him lightly on the arm.

"I'd never change you baby girl, you just gotta chill out. We can do this, okay? My dad isn't that scary. I know the last visit wasn't good but maybe this won't be so bad." Lafayette's shoulders slumped a little as they climbed up the front stairs to John's house.

"I am just worried little one, the last visit had you so riled you were nearly untenable. It was not enjoyable." John pushed that thought from his mind and pounded on the door and waited for someone to answer. He heard bashing from the inside and some yelling, then the door was opened and they we're pulled inside by Martha.

"Martha, always a pleasure to see you." Lafayette bowed his head a little then kissed her hand and Martha giggled, obviously flatter. Alex took her in for a brief hug before letting her go and re-tucking himself behind John. John shook his head and hugged Martha deeply before looking towards the dining room.

"Is everything set up for us to eat?" Martha nodded her head enthusiastically and showed them into the dining room. There were eight plates set up and food already served, still steaming. Alex, Lafayette, and John sat down next to each other and talked quietly until the rest of John's family piled into the room and into their seats. Henry still hadn't some so he chatted to his siblings idly.

Martha shot John's look that he couldn't quite read but interpreted it as a warning. A warning for something, something hopefully good. He doesn't think he could take any more bad news when it come to his family. John quickly leaned over and kissed both of his boyfriend in the lips and his siblings "aawwweeeddd" obscenely and John flicked a hand at them that shut them up instantly. He's surprised that still works after so many years.

John tensed up when Henry finally entered the room and underneath the table he felt one hand from was or his boyfriends land on his knee at the same time. He knows he'll be okay no matter how this dinner goes down, because he always has his boys. Henry cleared his throat uncomfortably and stood at the head of the table before finally speaking.

"Lafayette and Alex, thank you for joining us for dinner tonight and agreeing to stay the night in my home." He paused briefly and looked over to them to gauge their reactions. Lafayette just nodded his head and smiled charmingly while Alex scooted his chair closer to John and tried to bury himself into his side. Henry looked away quickly at this and took a deep breath before exhaling it slowly.

"It has been brought to my attention that I have not treated you two fairly. John is dating you now and I can clearly see he has no intentions of stopping this so I will just have to accept it. If you are with John then you are a part of this family wether I like it or not. I would just like to formally apologize to the three of you for the way I spoke to you and the thing I said." Henry took another deep breath and turned his head back to the boys.

John is shocked. He never though his father would just accept him being gay, apologize, and accept his two boyfriends into his life all in one minute. His head is spinning, but before he had the chance to say anything Lafayette is already standing and walking across the room to Henry. He's a few inches taller than Henry so he has to look up at him, which makes him look small. John has never seen his father look so small...

"Sir, I thoroughly accept your apology and I am glad we can be...," Lafayette snuck a glance at John before finishing his sentence and shot him a genuinely happy smile, "friends. Yes?" Henry shook his head curtly and gladly accepted the hand Lafayette offered before pulling him into a hug which Lafayette gratefully returned. Lafayette sat back down in his seat and kissed John on the cheek briefly before looking at Alex.

Alex is confused. And a little but pissed off. He doesn't want to forgive Henry, he has a million things he would rather do in this moment than forgive Henry Laurens for the shit storm he had caused on John's mental health. He knows he should do it for John, he would do anything for John. He can do this for John even if he doesn't want to.

Alex stands up and swallows visibly, he thinks of it as literally swallowing the words trying to force their way out of his mouth, and walks up to Henry.

"All is forgiven sir, thank you for your apology. I appreciate it immensely and I hope we can better our relationship together in the future." Henry once again nodded and shook Alex's hand, but didn't pull in for a hug. Henry knows Alex is still mad, that he's only doing this for John and he can live with that.

Alex plopped back down into his seat and reassumed his place sitting almost in John's lap. Henry pretended he didn't see this and just began eating their dinner. The conversation was light and friendly, everyone dancing around what was tomorrow. No one wanting to talk about it but everyone knowing they should. So instead they continue on with their banter, laughing happily and kissing each other good night before heading off to bed.

John pulled his Father into the tightest hug he's probably ever given him and sighed.

"Thank you Father for what you did. I know that couldn't have been easy for you and I just. I haven't no idea where it came from or why, just know I really appreciate it. I love you." John pulled back and followed Lafayette and Alex up the stairs and pulled them into his bed room.

"So this is what your room is like at this home? How many boys have you brought here secret?" John smacked Lafayette playfully on the shoulder and smiled.

"Not many. The house of sexual repression isn't really the place you bring someone to make out." Alex say John down between his legs and began brushing his hair, slowly unknotting it and smoothing it out.

"Did you ever bring Charles Lee up here?" John turned around to look at Alex and laid his cheek on Alex's knee and looked up at him. He knew the question was probably coming and that he should tell Alex the truth, but is very afraid of what he will say.

"Well... yes. But we didn't make out or anything. He snuck into my room and tried to... yeah," John gestured to his crotch with his hands with a disgusted look in on his face, " so I told him no and he smacked me. It's honestly nothing big. So no worries." Lafayette sat down on the ground next to John and tucked Johns head underneath his chin.

"My little one, if he has hurt you that is not something little. It matters and you shouldn't be ashamed or try to hide it yes? If he ever comes near you again I will just have to break his arms off and beat him with them. It is simple." John giggled and leaned up to kiss Lafayette softly before leaning up and kissing Alex in the same manner and smiling sleepily.

Alex smiled and started helping John into his night clothe before Lafayette and Alex changed into their own. Lafayette braided John hair and kissed all the freckles on his face until John was a giggling mess and Alex had to catch him before he fell off Lafayette's lap.

Eventually John yawned and stretched like a cat and laid his head on Lafayette's chest. His heart beat is one of John's favorite sounds, Alex's being his other favorite. There is nothing like listening to the sound of a beating heart from someone you love because it's like a gift every time it beats.

Lafayette smiled at Alex who was sprawled out on the bed and lifts John up slowly, then places him on the bed next to Alex before crawling in behind John and wrapping around him like a vine. And they fall asleep like this, tangled up together in a pile of love.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Funeral time and some other shady shiiiit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, school has started up and organic chemistry plus work has taken much of my time! So so so sorry but here it is (-:

  
"She looks just like Mother laying there." John had been staring at the casket for five minutes straight, not saying a word. Alex and Lafayette had been standing next to him holding his hands also not saying a word, just staying for support. They had been ignoring John's family for the most part aside from his siblings because they, apparently, are the only ones who aren't racist and homophobic.

The funeral was beautiful but a little too cliché for John's liking because his aunt had always been eccentric in her prime. His Mother and Elouise did crazy things and were impossibly close, almost inseparable until his mothers death. So, this just doesn't feel right. It's all too bland, and John knows that Elouise would hate it, be that she were alive to see it.

John knows the decorations at the funeral isn't really why nothing feels right, it's that he's lost the last real thing of his mother besides his brothers and sisters, but it's not the same. Elouise was like another mom, and to have her just be gone like that almost didn't make sense. It's not fair, none of it was fair. His mother dying, Elouise dying, Henry Laurens being who he was, basically his entire family hating his existence and who he is. It wasn't fair, and it really pisses John off. Nothing in his life has ever been fair up until he met Lafayette and Alex. He's scared to think about what his life would have been life if they had never walked into his art studio that day so many years ago.

"Little one are you okay?" John jumped a little when Lafayette whispered in his ear and squeezed his hand a little. John realized how hard he was squeezing their hands and how tense he was and immediately let go and sunk into Alex's side. John feels deflated and tired, like he could just pass out on command.

"Yes, it's just not fair." Alex squeezed John a little tighter around the waist and began leading him to a couch and sat down with him slowly, Lafayette on the other side. John really wanted to cry and scream and hit something until his knuckles bled. But instead he stared at the carpet and held it all back. Father would be mad if he made a scene.

"I know it's not fair Jacky, I felt the same way when my mother died. It gets easier with time, but the hole never heals. You don't get over it, you just learn how to handle it. It's shit, but it's all there is to do, but Lafayette and I will be here for you no matter what." John welled up a little at this, thinking about how uncomfortable Alex must be here at a funeral. Also at how Alex had a way with words that made his heart sing.

"I didn't even consider how you must be feeling. Are you okay? With y'know... being here and all." John gestured out to the casket where Henry Jr was comforting James. He had been crying and wiping his sleeve on his tux, but Henry Jr stoped him and wiped his nose off with his pocket square instead and hugged him tight. John doesn't know where Martha and Marry are, probably off somewhere networking through the family.

"Don't worry about me baby girl, I'll be okay. My mom didn't have a proper funeral, we just kind of buried her so this doesn't bother me much." Lafayette and John looked over at Alex with matching expressions of shock and sadness.

"I am very much sad for you to say that mom âme. You never got to celebrate her life?" Alex shrugged his shoulders and leaned a little farther into John.

"I get to celebrate her life everyday." Lafayette nodded at this, and also laid further into John. They sat on the couch for awhile not talking, just people watching. John's family is a curious bunch, mostly because they all hate each other and themselves but will never say it. The fake smiles and fake voices get on his nerves, the whole facade of the 'perfect southern family' shit really gets under his skin. In reality, they're all a bunch of scum bags who don't know the repercussions of doing something wrong because they are pretty much the richest people in this stupid town. John isn't sad that he left that day and never looked back.

Alex stood up abruptly and stretched his arms up causing his back to pop audibly. John hates when he does that, it always sounds so gross. It usually makes Lafayette giggle, but for some reason that doesn't feel appropriate.

"I have to go pee, I'll be back in a few." John and Lafayette shrug and turn into each other, Lafayette cradling John into his chest and resting his chin on top of his head. God damn they're just so cute, and Alex knows he's lucky to have them. Two beautiful men who belong to just him.

Alex walked to the bathroom briskly avoiding eye contact with anyway, directly avoiding any opportunities for conversation that he knows would only piss him off. He's not here today to be pissed off, he's here to support John and that's what he's going to do. Besides, Lafayette would be really disappointed if he caused a scene, and disappointing Lafayette was something he never hoped to do again.

On the way to the bathroom Alex was stopped by a familiar voice, only now spoken in hushed tones. Henry Lauren's voice was unmistakable though, because it was weird and deep and unsettling. It always sent chills up Alex's spine, and not in a good way.

"Listen Henry, your boy is one of them faggots. We don't appreciate him bringin' them other fags 'round here neither." Alex's blood ran like fire through his veins. He fucking knew Henry fucking Laurens was a liar.

"I know Will, but it's only for another day after the funeral is over and they will be gone again. I apologized to John for some things I said to him so he'd stay off my case and not cause a scene while we're here. Plus, Martha drove me crazy about 'he's your son you have to love him'." Alex's breaths quickened and he counted in his head to ten, trying to remember the techniques John had taught him to stay calm.

"Well I personally think John leavin' home was the best thing that happened to this family in a long time." Henry and the apparent 'Will' shared a laugh and Alex ground his molars together so hard he feared they would turn into dust.

"I couldn't handle John staying here for the full two weeks, him leaving again will do the family wonders once more." At this, Alex walked into the room quietly and didn't say a word, just waited to be noticed. For once in his life he was waiting to be noticed, he was being patient. John and Laf would be so proud.

Eventually Henry turned to refill his empty glass of whisky and nearly dropped it in the floor when he finally spotted Alex. They locked eyes for a few seconds, no words needed. Henry knows that Alex heard it all, and nothing needs to be said. Alex did a little wave before sauntering out of the room and rushing to the restroom before returning to Lafayette and John. He still felt like a riled up cat that could strike at any time, but tried to compose himself. But Laf and John saw right through it, they always do.

"You okay baby boy?" Alex nodded his head briefly and sat stiffly next to John. He didn't want to do this right now. He doesn't wanna cause a scene. He can't disappoint them.

"Mon âme what has happened?" Alex looked over to Lafayette and took a deep, calming breath.

"It is not something that needs to be discussed here. Can you just hold me?" Lafayette nodded his head quickly, surprised by Alex being so straight forward. He usually didn't ask for attention, just bothered one of them until he revived it. Lafayette pulled both his boys in as tight as he could and just held them. They watched the funeral pass by, people giving condolences they didn't actually mean and exchanging pleasantries that were void of any true sympathy. The only true love was from Martha, Marry, James, and Henry Jr because they understand. They love John for who he is and they also love his boys. That's all he can ask for.

The burial was beautiful. Petunias covered the top of her coffin tied with ribbon and lace. John feels like he really isn't okay and that he might not be okay ever again. He knows he will, but right now, it just doesn't feel like it will be. John squeezed his boys hands and dragged them to the car as fast as he could when it was over and jumped in. He needs to be away.

He's scared of crying, it has never been his favorite thing. He's such an ugly cryer, or that's what his father had always told him. He also said real boys play football and don't belong on the dance team. John laid his head against the steering wheel of his car and fought back the lump in his throat. He felt like he's drowning, that he can't breathe past this gigantic ball of emotion trapped in his esophagus. He just needs to cry but he can't. Why can't he cry?

Lafayette eyes John warily as he laid with his head against the steering wheel and glanced back at Alex. He just shrugged his shoulders and placed his hand on John back. Lafayette leaned uncomfortably over to console and tried talking to John, but got no reply.

"Come little one, you can talk to us. We are here." John finally lifted up his head and looked at Lafayette with blood shot eyes, but strangely no tears. Lafayette cupped John's cheek and nodded his head a little in encouragement.

"I'm sad but I can't cry. She's dead but I can't cry for her, but she deserves it. She deserves to know that I miss her and that I'll always miss her and that I'll never let her go. But I can't even fucking cry at her funeral how am I supposed to believe I will remember her forever? What if I forget her face? The sound of her voice? The way she'd sing to me after Father berated me for hours? It's just so messed up and not fair." John's chest was heaving but no tears were coming out still, and it just enraged him. He felt as if he was doing an injustice to Elouise and he just wants to cry.

"Baby boy, don't be afraid to cry if you need to. We're not going to judge you, we understand." Alex's tone showed exactly how worked up he was getting over John being upset, and the little waver in it broke Lafayette's heart. John sighed deep and exhausted before starting the car. Lafayette wishes he could make John feel better, that he could take all his pain away and just make him feel better already.

"It's not that I'm afraid to Alex, I just can't."John stared blankly out the windshield as he drove, not saying another word. He was still choking on the lump in his throat but they just didn't understand. They don't understand.he wished someone could understand, that they knew how he felt. He just feels indescribably sad and alone even though they are here. Why does he feel like this?

Lafayette was freaking out a little trying to figure out how to fix John's problem. He doesn't want to make John cry but he wants him to feel better. And if crying made him feel better who was Lafayette to stop him? None of it made sense to him and he hates that, not knowing how to fix things for his little one. He doesn't know how to make Alex feel okay when John is his upset and he doesn't know how to make John not upset.

They pulled up to Henry Laurens house, a little later than everyone else. John dreads going inside. He doesn't want to see those people anymore, he just wants to crawl into bed with Alex and Laf then cry. He just wants to be with them at home in their apartment singing and dancing and laughing. This sucks and it's stupid and he just can't take the thought of being with these people any longer. But he has to and he will.

"Are you ready to go inside baby boy?" John looked up at Alex and wondered how he missed Alex and Lafayette getting out of the car and then opening up his door. He wonders how long they've been standing there looking at him while he was lost in thought.

"No, but I suppose I'll have to anyway. Maybe talking to my family will make me cry from how stupid they are." Alex snorted a little and Lafayette stifled a giggle at John's bluntness about his family. He smiled a little and stood up out of the car and kissed them both deeply before walking into the house. The knot in his stomach while walking up to this house gave him a strange feeling of deja vu, and it made him feel more ill than he already does.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's in a funk )-:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this took so long to get up, I'm also sorry if it's all shitty and chopped up. I had to write this at various times when I had a moment to sit down. So sorry

You know how in movies when everything around the main character is moving rapidly but they're staying in one place, completely oblivious? That's how John's life feels right now. Everything is happening around him and he's just there. People are talking to him and the words are muffled like he's wearing earmuffs, they touch him and he's numb. He doesn't understand why he feels this way, just that it's impossible to escape his own mind.

"Is he okay?" Alex leaned across John's lap to look at Lafayette and grabbed his hand. John had been sitting and staring for hours as his family talked to him. He sighed or shrugged his shoulders lazily, hadn't smiled or laughed. It was very unlike John, he was always happy. Alex could understand that in a situation like this you would be depressed, but John has always been open and talked about how he's feeling. The feeling that was set in Alex's stomach felt like a stone, slowly pressing down on his insides until he couldn't breathe. Johns eyes are glossed over and he was breathing slowly, like he was dying or at least close to it. Alex doesn't like what's happening to him while they're here, that John doesn't smile or laugh. Henry Lauren's and the rest of his family is literally sucking the life out of him. John's smile is what makes Alex get up in the morning, he's the last piece to the puzzle and it's slipping away. The sooner they leave the better.

"He is mourning mon amour, very upset. He is taking time in his own head." Alex frowned, never considering the concept of being in your own head. He had always been the one to speak emotions aloud and very boldly. He had always worn them on his sleeve, and the prospect of someone bottling it up just seemed too peculiar to be human. How could some do that? It seems like that would drive you insane, just keeping all the screaming voices locked up in your head and not letting them out.

"Well if he's going to be like this for awhile, there's something I need to tell you." Lafayette stood up and scooted John over then took a seat next to Alex. He was sweating a little, the gazes from John's family that were obviously prompted from racism. He's black, he gets it. Don't people understand that it's rude to stare? He wishes they were somewhere else...

"What is it, mon âme?" Alex ran a frustrated hand through his hair and blew out a long stream of air. Lafayette knows Alex is about to tell him something very upsetting and that it might just be unbearable to hear. He's seen him like this before only one other time, and it broke his heart then. He's sure it will now.

"I overheard Henry talking to one of John's family members. He didn't mean the apologized he gave us and he was only doing it to sate John so we could leave quicker." Lafayette's jaw dropped. He's heart sunk to the bottom of his stomach and then wretched, making him feel as if he were going to be sick. What a terrible thing to do, especially to John. He's such a pure here's human, never done a thing to hurt anyone intentionally. Lafayette his never felt such disdain towards another human being in his entire life.

"I can not stand him doing these things to John. It is not right in any way, and it makes me upset. I wish there were more to do...," Lafayette took a deep breath and glanced down at John who had passed out laid up against his shoulder, "We have to tell him, don't we?" Alex dropped his head into his hands and let out a broken sob. John was right, everything is unfair. Why do people have to be so fucked up? Why do they have to lie and deceive the ones they are supposed to love.

"This is so fucking stupid Laf. It's not fair, John's aunt dies, his family sucks, he's torn up, his father is a piece of shit, and there's no way for us to fix it for him. He will be stuck with these stupid mother fuckers for the rest of his life and all we can do I distract him." Lafayette wanted to reach out for Alex and soothe him but was afraid of waking up John.

"No, we are not here to distract him. We are here to be his new family and to make him happy because that is what we do. And do not forget his brothers and sisters, they are good to him. Martha is always here for him like we are." Alex looked up at Lafayette, and then down at John. He ran a hand over his wild hair, settling it back into place.

"I guess you're right. But what do we do about Henry? He knows I know." Lafayette shrugged slightly and kissed John's forehead. He should of known Alex would make himself known, which only complicates things further. Alex has problems keeping secrets, and if he doesn't figure out how to simmer this down quickly it will get out of hand. He doesn't want John to blow up on Henry again, but if would be worse if Alex were to do it instead of John.

"I suppose we figure that out when the time comes, my dear Alexander." Lafayette sighed and scanned the room briefly, trying to find Martha. She's been gone for awhile and John isn't getting any better, so maybe Martha could help. John usually calls Martha when Alex and Lafayette can not confront him any further, so that must be the case now. He has to find a way to help John. Lafayette shifts John onto Alex and stands up, stretching his legs.

"Where're you going? Lafayette placed a kiss on top of Alex's head and then John's before sucking in a deep breath. Alex is adorable, his weird little abandonment issues ever present, but Lafayette has never truly left him so he wonders where they come from. Probably something to do with his father.

"Damage control, mon âme. It is required." Lafayette shook his head sharply and then turned on his heals. Alex nodded slowly before holding on to John a little tighter and settling back into the couch. Lafayette began walking around briskly and avoiding eye contact with everyone. He doesn't feel like talking to them, and he knows they have nothing nice to say.

After about ten minutes of wondering around the house he finally found Martha. He tapped her on the shoulder and nodded towards a vacant room down the hallway. She nodded and pulled him into the small room away from everyone.

"What's the matter Laf?" She looks and sounds so much like John it breaks his heart some as he remembers the state of his little one. Everything was just so unfair, poor John sitting broken hearted in the couch over something unfixable.

"John is not feeling too well and I am not sure how to help and I was hoping you could help us. And..." Lafayette trailed off and worried his lip between his teeth. He isn't really sure how to tell someone that their father is a liar and an ass hole. So he decides not to.

"Hello?" Martha poked Lafayette in the arm and he jumped back a little from being startled out of his thoughts. It's best by I tell Martha about Henry for now, causing a scene would just be tragic and uncomfortable.

"Sorry, I spaced out. Come to John with me?" Martha nodded her head and followed Lafayette over to John. He was still slumped over on Alex staring off into space without saying a word. Martha got down in front of John's and brushed her fingers through his curls softly and kissed his forehead.

"Hey jacky, how you doin?" John looked up at Martha sleepily and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't feel good." The words came out a jumbled whisper and Martha smiled a little and placed her hand on John's forehead. She motioned for Alex to sit John up and then settled down next to him.

"You're just a little warm but I think you'll live. Wanna tell me what's really wrong? You're kind of acting like a child." Lafayette was taken aback by Martha being so blunt with John while he's like this, but he trusts her judgement on what will really help John. So instead, bit the inside of his mouth until he tasted blood and held back the word vomit. He shot Alex a look to make sure he stayed quite too.

"I don't know Martha. Everything just kind of sucks right now and it has me bummed. I want this day to be over and instead it's moving in slow motion." Martha wrapped her arm around John's shoulder and pulled him closer. Relief settled in Lafayette's stomach when John smiled a little. He's always wondered what it's like to have siblings with you in times of hardship and how they calm you down so easily. He's only ever really had Alex, which he supposes is good enough.

"I feel that way too, it's completely normal. But you're scaring everyone by acting like a zombie. Our family is clearing out of here now and they'll all be gone within the hour, okay? Things will feel better after they're all gone" John nodded his head lazily, still hazy from being dormant for so long. He felt as if he had been drinking for hours and is just now sobering up. Martha kissed John on the temple before standing up and talking to some of their cousins that were on their way out the door. John looked up at Alex and Lafayette's worried faces and held his arms out, waiting for them to return to their seats next to him. Alex moved hesitantly at first, but slammed into John when he realized that he was gonna be okay. Lafayette sat down on the other side and wrapped an arm around the two of them.

"Sorry for scaring you guys, I just get in a funk and need Martha to pull me out of it." Alex nuzzled into John's neck and sighed after he inhaled deeply.

"It's okay, we were just worried about you. That's why Lafayette went to get Martha, so she could help you." John smiled and kissed Alex's hair before kissing Lafayette on the lips. Alex whined and lifted his chin up so John would give him a kiss too and John giggled. It made Lafayette's heart sing to hear the sound of his little one giggle and he smiled warmly. His John. His little one.

"Thank you for taking care of me Laf, I appreciate it." Lafayette smiled and laid his forehead on John's. His curls tickled Lafayette's forehead and he laughed a little before pushing them back with his hand and stroking John's forehead with his thumb. John leaned into his touch and brought his hand up to poke Lafayette's dimple.

"It is my job, little one. To protect you and make sure you are happy. Both of you." Alex looked up at Lafayette and smiled, then leaned up over John to give him a kiss on the lips. Butterflies filled Lafayette's tummy, and he was thankful that to this day Alex could still make his insides feel funny. John and Alex settled into each other more and nuzzled. Two cute, amazing boys. Just perfect.

Lafayette scanned the room trying to guess how long it will be until all of Johns family is gone, and instead locked eyes with Henry for a brief moment before looking away in disgust. What a terrible man, who could lie to his sons face and then degrade him behind his back. Henry Lauren's does not deserve someone like John, no one does. Lafayette and Alex are just lucky enough to have found him when they did.

"Are you alright darlin'?" Lafayette looked down at John thoroughly surprised before realizing he was squeezing them both very tightly. Alex was looking at him with concern that he was trying, and failing, to cover up with sleepiness.

"Sorry, I am okay. Just thinking, are you guys okay?" John and Alex nodded and unison and settled back into Lafayette's arm. He doesn't deserve John or Alex, but all be damned if he ever took them for granted. Lafayette desperately just wanted to be home with his boys, safe and tucked away. Tomorrow, they will be home. But they still have to worry about tonight.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set up for the ending I suppose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I've been in D.C for the last few weeks on some business. I wrote this whole chapter on my plane ride and now I'm posting it on here. Sorry if it sucks and that it took so long )-:

"I want to go hoooome." Alex has apparently taken on his persona of a whiny four year because he is tired. In his defense though, being with John's family for more than an hour was tiring. And it had been about eight. He had every reason to be whiny because Lafayette had been paying too much attention to Martha, fan girling with her over only god knows what and John is talking to his brothers. So that left him propping his chin on John's shoulder and pouting in his ear.

"We get to leave tomorrow baby girl, then we'll be back home and safe." John shot a worried glance at Henry before looking back to Alex. "Everything will be alright."

Alex huffed and trudged over to Lafayette and made his way under the taller mans arm.

"Pay attention to me." Lafayette laughed a little and shot Martha a look of apology and then patted Alex's head. He glared playfully at him before nuzzling into his chest.

"You can stay here like this while I finish talking to Martha, then we can go eat. Okay?" Alex nodded silently and continued to cling to Lafayette.

"Now, as I was saying. We can make plans to meet in New York once you fly in and discuss this more thoroughly. I will need your help on this and I trust your opinion, it has to be perfect." Alex looked up at Lafayette suspiciously and then over to Martha.

"Absolutely Laf, that sounds perfect to me. I'm happy you consider my opinion of such high value and would allow me to help you with this." Alex shot another look to Martha then back at Lafayette. What were they talking about?

"What are you talking about?" Martha giggled and shared a knowing look with Lafayette. Alex whined high in his throat because he didn't like being left out.

"Mon amé, do you know who shut tha is?" Alex sent a confused look to Lafayette and made a weird hand motion.

"No?"

"Shut tha fuck up!" Lafayette and Martha laughed louder and Alex pouted his way back over to John. What a meanie. Before he could talk to John, Henry stood up to make a speech before they were allowed to eat. It was probably a bunch of bull shit anyway, so Alex only half listened. More focused on kissing John's neck and coming back after he was batted away. Alex whined high in his throat when John grabbed his wrist and pulled him into his chest.

"You're being very needy Alex. Do you need to be reminded what happens to little boys who misbehave?" Alex shook his head no and instead nuzzled his face into John's chest. In all honesty this is all he wanted from the very start, someone to pay attention to him. Alex made a sound of assent when a hand wove into his hair and played with it softly.

"Laf is being mean to me." The words were muffled by John's chest and he relaxed into it more. John kissed the top of Alex's head and laid his cheek on his head.

"What did he do?" Alex sighed and went completely slack against John's chest.

"He told me to shut the fuck up because he has a surprise and only told Martha." John snorted and continued stroking Alex's hair.

"He was just kidding baby girl, I'm sure he isn't telling you because the surprise is for you. You have to respect boundaries and not push things that aren't mean to be pushed." Alex huffed but didn't make a move to get off John. He didn't like being chided, but he hadn't thought about the fact he was being nosy.

"Sorry." John waved to Lafayette beckoning the man over and pointed at Alex behind his back. Lafayette wrapped his arms around the two boys and laid his head on top of John's head.

"Mean." Lafayette chuckled and only squeezed his boys tighter.

"Petulant." Alex wiggled but Lafayette only held tighter. Alex huffed and then accepted his fate and kissed Lafayette on the chin. He knows they're being high inappropriate by doing this in not only the middle of Henry's speech, but in front of his whole family. It at some point you just have to throw away all fucks, you know? They eventually untangled anyway and ignored the pointed stare they were receiving by essentially everyone in the room. Alex still felt incredibly needy, but reluctantly settled for holding Lafayette's hand. They made their way over to the food, Lafayette sticking to his usual healthy all eight food group shit as did John. Alex made a sandwich and avoided the fruits and vegetables that Lafayette tried to put on his plate. Lafayette huffed and sat down on the couch they had previously claimed.

"You have to eat healthy food eventually Alex." Alex shook his head no and took a bite out of his sandwich and hummed happily. The dark part in the back of his brain silently chanted 'petulant, you're being a small child' but he pushed it away and hushed the voice. No matter how hard he tries it was usually always there, whispering and reminding him of how he really is. A burden, a child, petulant, difficult, annoying. Alex frowned at the way his train of though is going. His heart starts to hurts little as he thought about how Laf and John would probably be better off without him, that he really had no benefits in their relationship. He's just a bed warmer. He's even felt this way when it was just him and Lafayette, so why would that not be true now? Alex started when John placed a hand on his shoulder and pulled him from his thoughts.

"You okay Alex?" Alex nodded his head hastily and gave John a small smile. He muttered his answer and grabbed some fruit off John's plate. This had made Lafayette smile and stroke Alex's hair softly. Alex leaned into it before looking back at his plate and sighing. Alex had been acting weird for the last few hours, extra touchy and clingy. And now suddenly his mode shifts and he's mopey. John thinks he's going to get whiplash from Alex's mood sometimes and the thought of it caused him to roll his eyes. He chided himself quickly, thinking back on what Lafayette had said. In their early days Alex had struggled with some issues about emotions and opening up, but that's all he would say. Would tell John it's not his place to reveal Alex's past, only Alex could do that. That John should stop pushing and wait until Alex was ready. And he could wait. He will wait.

"John, came say good bye to your family." John reluctantly got up and kissed Alex and Lafayette on the cheeks as he followed Martha to the rest of his family. He had been avoiding them for a reason and Martha knew that. He couldn't be irritated at her though, it wasn't her fault that their family sucked.

He accepted the hugs that came his way, could tell when they were genuine and when they were stiff. He misses his aunt, the only person in this family who understood him besides Martha. John chided himself again about dwelling on the things he couldn't change and that he had to try moving on. It wasn't healthy to dwell. Didn't help to cry.

"See you later Jacky, I love you!" John caught the small child that jumped into his arms and kissed him on the cheek. He hasn't seen the child in forever and she had gotten so big she almost knocked John over. He remembers the day she was born, being little himself and holding her to his chest happily. Alex and Lafayette watched him with the child dreamily, practically swooning at how cute it was. He had always been the best with kids and it made their hearts flutter.

"I love you too Maggie, I'll see you late." John laughed when he kissed him on the cheek a few more times before whispering in his ear that his boyfriends are cute. His heart clenched a little when his uncle grabbed her arm and yanked her away and leaving John with a curt nod. What a douche. He went through the motions and reluctantly hugged everyone else that went through the door. He collapsed back on the couch with Lafayette and Alex and deflated.

"That took a lot out of you, yes?" John groaned loudly before nodded his head vigorously. It had taken a lot out of him and he really just needed his boyfriends to hold him and tell him how proud they are of him for making all the way through without snapping. So he crawled into Lafayette's lap and nuzzled his chest while Alex rubbed his legs.

"Just think, it could have been worse. This, in my book, was a success." John smiled up at Alex sleepily and poke him on the nose. John was a little goofy from how tired he was and was being extremely goofy. It made Lafayette's heart swell to see him converting back to him old self instead of the sad mess he has been recently. Lafayette reminded himself John had a reason to be the sad mess that he is and nodded to himself. John will be okay, and that's all that matters. Pain is temporary and they would make it through this together.

"You're really cute. Know that?" Alex laughed and shook his head. "Holy shit. You're cute too!" John said this as if it were the first time he were reading how cute Lafayette was, which he could have been offended by. He instead settled for kissing John on the forehead and playing with his hair. Anytime he tried to stop John would grab his hand and out it back on his head and groan until Alex did it too. John knew he was being needy like Alex, but he needs this. Maybe Alex needs it too, maybe the funeral was bothering him and he just didn't want to make the event about him.

John jumped up when Henry cleared his throat and looked away awkwardly. His heart was in his throat as he looked anywhere except for Henry.

"Just wanted to say goodnight." John's cheeks flushed a deep scarlet underneath his freckles and he coughed.

"Good night father." Something was wrong, but he couldn't place his finger on it. He really hopes that it wouldn't come up before they got to go back home tomorrow, because he really just wants to go home. Everything has been resolved, Henry had accepted he's gay and I willing to play nice. That's all he needs and now he can leave.

"Alex, could I steal a moment of your time?" Alex and Henry made intense eye contact before nodding and following him into his office. John allowed himself to be carried to bed by Lafayette, only after Alex promised to be back in the next ten minutes.

"May I help you." Alex folded his arms as stared at the man who was shifting around awkwardly. He looked oddly like John in this nonentity, cheeks flushed and moving stiffly.

"I know what you saw was bad. But I promise I didn't mean a lick of it, you have to understand I was just trying to keep my family tame." Alex let out a long breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You either support your son or you don't. You can't go back and forth," Alex held up his hand when Henry tried to interrupt him, "but one way or another you're lying. You just have to decide who you're lying to. John, yourself, or your family. You choose, let me know before we leave tomorrow. You can tell John yourself what happened or I will, and he won't like it coming from me." Alex bumped Henry's shoulder on his way out of the room and hastily made his way up to their shared bedroom.

He changed himself and John into their night clothed and later down with him all tangled limbs and soft kisses. Lafayette whined when he came to the bed, complained they weren't before fair and had started good night kisses without him. It made John and Alex giggle and the three of them traded kisses until John started to drift off. Alex and Lafayette stoked his hair softly until they heard his light snores. Alex and Lafayette's shared one more long soft kiss and dosed off together.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ending time. But there will be more stories in this series.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO sorry this took so much time to upload. My phone broke and I didn't have money to replace it or buy a new one up until a couple days ago. I also don't have a laptop do to said money issues... I hope I can be forgiven. I'm sorry it is short but I didn't wanna force the ending any and this is what came out.

"Stop licking me Alex." John pushed Alex's face away and huffed.

"But you have to wake up, to time to go. Martha made breakfast, I can smell it." John sighed and rubbed the spit off his face.

"You still could wake me up a different way than licking my cheek." Alex smirked and tilted his head.

"What else did you have I mind?" John smiled he pulled Alex into a languid kiss, which lasted until Lafayette wrapped his arms around Alex's waist and lifted him like a rag doll.

"I have packed our things and laid out clothing for both of you. Please get dressed and share the love." Alex struggled in his arms until Lafayette sat him back down onto the bed and then was immediately attacked with kisses. The result of this was a quick hand job for John and then him giving them both blow jobs.

The morning was pleasant and slow, like old times when they were home. John wished they had never left but didn't particularly regret coming either. The whole trip had been a disaster from start to finish, but either way it had to be done.

They eventually got dressed and brought their bags down stairs and walked slowly into the kitchen. The playful air from that morning had gone away, filled with awkward and tenseness. Henry sat at the table with a tight smile on his face, and John's siblings were eating in silence.

"Sit, Jacky." Martha pulled out the seat next to her and patted it softly. He sat down slowly with Lafayette and Alex in suit and began to eat quietly.

"Son." John's eyes shot up wearily to Henry's and he sat his fork down gingerly.

"Yes?" John glances at Alex with a question in his eyes, but Alex refused to look up. He instead grabbed Lafayette's hand and squeezed slightly and continued warily.

"There something I need to tell you plain and simple. I, myself, am not okay with you being gay but it is not my place to judge. I have said many things to you that are not acceptable and I lied to you and went behind your back with your uncle and said some crude things. But all that matters to me is that you're happy, and I can see that you truly are with Alex and Lafayette. They care about you a lot and that's all that really matters." John nodded his head slowly and looked over to Alex and Lafayette who just smiled shyly.

"Well, thank you father. That means a lot to me." Martha smiled and kissed her father in the cheek before kissing John.

"Now that's what I like to hear! Would you like us to escort you to the airport or would you rather just me go?" John shrugged and pushed his food around his plate.

"I want all of you to come," He looked up at Henry and sighed, "sorry in a piece of shit sometimes and that I lash out." Henry genially smiled in what felt like forever and nodded his hear briefly.

"I don't blame you, you're just like your mother." Warmth spread in John's chest as he took another bite of his food and clasped Alex's hand under the table.

\--

"When will you visit Martha? I will miss you so while we are home in New York. Besides, we have things to discuss." Martha squeezed Lafayette one more time in their embraced and stepped back with her hands on his shoulder.

"I will be there soon. Shoot me a text sometime and we'll make plans." Lafayette smiled and turned to Alex.

"Are you ready to board?" Alex said nothing because he was distracted by John. Watching him play with James and Henry Jr in the middle of the airport made his heart sing. He's just so damn cute, and Alex knows he'll make a great parent some day. He snapped out of it when Lafayette squeezed his shoulders.

"He will do wonderful as a father, no?" Alex smiled and leaned back into Lafayette's chest. He smiled wider when Lafayette squeezed him and kissed the top of his head lovingly.

"Funny how you always know exactly what I'm thinking." John walked over, bouncy curls and all, and kissed them both on the cheek. He shot them both a suspicious LOOK when they gave him dough eyes and droopy smiles.

"What're y'all starin' at?" Alex shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

"Nothing baby girl. You ready to go? It's almost our flight time." John sighed deeply and turned to his family. Good bye hugs and kisses were given to his siblings. I love yours we're exchanged and a few tears were shed by James. He had always been an emotional kid, and that seemed as if it would never change.

  
but the hug from his father was a surprise.

"I love you John."

"I love you too, Father." He squeezed his father tightly before letting go and smiling. He knows they will be okay, and that hopefully in the future it will only be better. For the first time John has hope  

They stayed until they could no longer see the boys and then left for home.

"I like your family. They're unique." John chuckled and clasped Alex's hand. He brought it to his lips and kissed it tenderly before letting it drop again.

"You're not wrong, but you're quite unique yourself." John said this in a teasing voice and Alex placed a hand over his heart in mock offense.

"You offend me John Laurens, I am anything but!" Lafayette snorted as he pulled his hair into a pony tail. Alex chewed his lip at the way Lafayette's arms looked when he flexed.

"You are both unique in your own ways, and both as weird as you are cute. Which means very weird."

"Mhm, cover yourself up with a compliment as you always do Laf." John kissed Lafayette on the lips and then Alex. They stood and played on their phones as they waited for their flight to be called. The best thing about southwestern was getting to pick your seats, so they were towards the front where they preferred. John by the window and Alex in the middle with Lafayette on the end. John liked to watch the world get smaller and smaller the higher up they went, it always made him feel so important. Not that he didn't feel that already with his boys always being so close, but this was different. Important in a way that meant he was better so maybe he'd be good enough for them. John glanced over at Alex and Lafayette, who were slumped over on each other drooling and asleep. His heart fluttered at the beautiful sight. He really could stand to see it his whole life.

The flight was uneventful aside from the occasional cry from a child but other hen that all was well and they were back home in no time. They breathed a sigh of relief as they crashed into the couch together in a heap.

"These last few days have felt like years." Alex groaned as he stretched out across his boys.

"Tell me about it." John let his head drop back against the couch as he ran his fingers through Alex's silky hair slowly. Being home felt wonderfully.

Lafayette looked down at his two boys and smiled.

"So, what is next?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to be doing more stories. If you have any request please let me know in the comments and I will try to get to them all. I know I am writing a story about how Alex/Lafayette came to be and then how the trio came to be. Please let me know if there is anything you'd like me to write for you, I would be more than happy to oblige!


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